Psychology & Neurodiversity

This may be my longest post yet.. 🥸
If you read this, I hope its of benefit. Don't care for engagement, my intention is to help even one person.

Been here for a number of years embarrassingly, on & off. Some of us have been beta users since 2023.

I believe that's when I mentally logged out after witnessing the mentality of people here.

I thought I was strong enough to ignore, but upon reflection, I've let the evil words from so called Muslim men, get to me about age. Lost count how many times I've witnessed claims that from 29 you're considered 'faulty goods' or 'expired'.

Trying not to write a dissertation.. so here's a summary of my experience. Maybe my wasted years will protect others from the same.

1. If you're wanting someone with the same destination goal: jannah al firdos..

2. If you haven't been to uni..

3. If you want to serve both sets of parents, not just the man's..

4. If you've given up music for the sake of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ, don't celebrate birthdays or free mix without purpose..

5. If you observe hijab with abaya/jilbab or intend to wear niqab..

6. If you're not into social media & what the rest of the world are into..

7. If you're into deen AND health & fitness..

8. If you crave a deep, loving & non transactional connection..

9. If you've been protected from zina, & want someone who wants you for your character over your appearance alone..

10. If you value people's heart rather than what they provide..

If all the above apply to you, & you're a lot younger than me, please do NOT rely solely on muzz.. Explore all other halal avenues. Leave this place as a last resort.

Its soul destroying, I let it get to me so much that I haven't been able to speak to anyone for the sake of marriage in years. Don't be like me.

(I'm at peace with not being married ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ, but I've noticed that a lot of people struggle with loneliness, so not everyone can be at peace with this..)

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ ٱللَّهِ وَبَرَكاتُهُ

There’s something so peaceful about starting the day after fajr with: “Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer

I don't think Muzz is a good app for finding a spouse. What's your opinion?

The strongest relationships are built by two people who never stop teaching, learning, and growing together.

Your emotions aren’t the enemy. Your reaction is. Neuroscience shows that an intense emotion physically lasts only 90sec in your body. After that, it’s your thoughts that keep it alive.
Angry at your partner? Stressed after work? Before you text, before you snap, before you decide — breathe 3 times. Deeply.

You smiled today, you ate today, you’re still here…
Allah is still giving you chances 🤍
What’s one thing you’ll fix before you sleep tonight?

I’m a Muslim therapist and I’m here to remind you:

Sometimes Allah doesn’t remove the thing that’s breaking your heart because He’s using it to bring your heart back to Him.

Metacognition

You aren’t your emotions; you’re the response to your emotions.

They say a person falls in love three times in their life. The first love usually comes at a young age. It’s reckless , filled with passion, but inexperienced. You grow apart and call it quits over foolish pride or petty things. Years later , you’ll claim that wasn’t real love. But for that version of you, it was everything love could be.

The second love, hits hard. This one teaches you lessons and makes you stronger. You fall even harder than last time, and you get hurt and used because of it. It hardens you , teaches you to spot wolves in sheep’s clothing. You emerge closed, but wiser, knowing exactly what you’ll never tolerate again.

And then the third, this one doesn’t knock. It slips in while you’re not looking. Every wall you put up gets demolished. You will find yourself caring about them without even trying. Their flaws become sacred to you. You crave mornings with their chaos, nights with their quiet. You want commitment and a family with them. This love feels less like falling and coming home to a fire that’s been waiting for you all along.