Converts / Reverts

So, with polygamy not a thing in the United states or something!? What is one left to do if he's one to do the Islamic following and so then abide by the rules of his religion when it comes to the marital thing? Like, "MY God allows me the 4 WIVES of my choosing when i can care for them and assurre our relationship is doing what it's supposed to be doing. Its so confusing!!! Alhamdulillah.

In Islam, marriage is encouraged not only as a way to form a family, but also as a means of protecting individuals and society. The contrast with casual dating is based on the Islamic understanding of intimacy, commitment, and responsibility.

Some of the reasons marriage is regarded as a protection include:

Protection of faith (deen): Marriage provides a lawful outlet for emotional and physical intimacy, helping a person avoid sexual relationships that Islam prohibits. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“Whoever among you is able to marry, let him marry, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim)

Protection of chastity and dignity: Islam teaches that intimacy belongs within a committed marital relationship. Marriage protects both spouses from exploitation, uncertainty, and relationships based only on temporary attraction.

Mutual rights and responsibilities: Unlike casual dating, marriage establishes clear rights and obligations. Each spouse has responsibilities toward the other, including kindness, respect, financial support (from the husband according to Islamic law), and emotional care.

Emotional security: Marriage is intended to provide stability and tranquility. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an 30:21)

Protection of children and family: Marriage provides a stable framework for raising children, preserving lineage, and ensuring both parents have responsibilities toward their family.

Commitment rather than uncertainty: Casual dating often does not involve lifelong commitment or defined responsibilities.

Marriage is a covenant in which both spouses intentionally commit to supporting one another through life’s challenges.

Protection from harm: Islam seeks to reduce harms that can arise from uncommitted sexual relationships, such as emotional distress, betrayal, uncertainty about responsibilities, and neglect of children.

This does not mean that every marriage is automatically healthy or that every person who dates has bad intentions. Islam emphasizes that a marriage should be built on faith, mutual consent, kindness, and good character. An abusive or unjust marriage goes against Islamic teachings.

For someone who desires marriage, the Prophet ﷺ encouraged seeking it when reasonably able, while also placing trust in Allah and maintaining patience and chastity until the right opportunity comes. Marriage, in the Islamic view, is one of the means by which Allah grants affection, compassion, and protection for both husband and wife.

According to the Qur’an and the authentic Sunnah, a woman has a number of important rights within marriage. These rights are considered acts of justice and worship, not merely cultural customs.

1. The right to choose her husband
   A woman cannot be forced into marriage. Her consent is required for a valid Islamic marriage.

2. The right to receive the mahr (dowry)
   Allah says:

“Give the women their bridal gifts graciously…”
(Qur’an 4:4)

The mahr belongs entirely to the wife.

3. The right to financial support (nafaqah)
   The husband is responsible for providing:

Suitable accommodation

Food
Clothing
Essential living expenses
according to his financial means.

4. The right to kind and respectful treatment
   Allah says:

“Live with them in kindness.”
(Qur’an 4:19)

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The best of you are those who are best to their wives.”

5. The right to love, compassion, and emotional care
   Allah describes marriage as one of affection and mercy:

“He placed between you affection and mercy.”
(Qur’an 30:21)

6. The right to marital intimacy
   A wife has the right to intimacy, and both husband and wife should consider each other’s needs with kindness and mutual respect.

7. The right to safety
   A husband is not permitted to oppress, abuse, or unjustly harm his wife. Islam commands justice and mercy within the family.

8. The right to keep her own wealth
   A woman’s earnings, inheritance, savings, and property belong to her alone. She is not obligated to spend them on the household unless she chooses to.

9. The right to education and practicing her religion
   She has the right to learn Islam, perform her religious obligations, and grow in her faith.

10. The right to fairness
    If a man has more than one wife, Islam requires him to deal justly with all of them. If he cannot do so, he is instructed not to marry more than one (Qur’an 4:3).

11. The right to seek divorce in certain circumstances
    If the marriage becomes harmful or the husband neglects his obligations, Islam provides avenues such as khulʿ (divorce initiated by the wife under certain conditions) or seeking dissolution through an Islamic judge or authority where available.

Islam teaches that marriage is based on mutual rights and responsibilities. Allah says:

“And women have rights similar to those against them, according to what is fair…”
(Qur’an 2:228)

The husband has responsibilities such as providing, protecting, and treating his wife with kindness. The wife also has responsibilities, including faithfulness, respect, and cooperation in what is right. Both spouses are accountable to Allah for how they treat one another, and the ideal Islamic marriage is one of mercy, justice, mutual respect, and tranquility.

In Islam, a wife has important rights in marriage, just as a husband has responsibilities and rights. The Qur’an describes marriage as a relationship built on tranquility, love, and compassion:

“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an 30:21)

Some of the key rights of a wife in Islam include:

The right to kindness and respect. A husband is commanded to treat his wife well: “Live with them in kindness.” (Qur’an 4:19). He should avoid cruelty, humiliation, or abuse.

The right to financial maintenance (nafaqah). If the marriage is valid, the husband is responsible for providing food, clothing, housing, and other reasonable living expenses according to his means.

The right to her mahr (marriage gift). The agreed-upon mahr belongs solely to the wife and cannot be taken back unjustly.

The right to dignity and safety. Physical,
emotional, and verbal abuse are contrary to the Islamic ideal of marriage.

The right to intimacy. A wife has the right to a fulfilling marital relationship, and both spouses should be considerate of each other’s needs.

The right to keep her own property. A woman’s wealth, earnings, inheritance, and possessions remain her own. She is not required to spend them on the household unless she chooses to.

The right to be consulted and treated fairly. Marriage in Islam is based on mutual consultation, cooperation, and respect.

The right to seek justice. If a husband fails in his obligations or causes harm, Islam provides avenues for reconciliation, arbitration, and, where necessary, divorce.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasized good treatment of women. He said:

“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”

Islam also teaches that husbands have rights, including respect, faithfulness, and cooperation in what is good. The Qur’an summarizes the balance by saying:

“And women have rights similar to those against them, according to what is fair.” (Qur’an 2:228)

This verse highlights that marriage is intended to be a relationship of mutual rights and responsibilities, not one-sided authority.

Here is a video of me reciting my final dua for Salah and I think I have memorized the rest unless it is obligatory to make witr.

I think it’s Surah Al-Baqarah (2:201)
https://youtube.com/shorts/abIKvbKj6X4?is=A7HmZLnAJ4ydHtfX

Have any reverts here successfully found a partner? I really appreciate hearing about everyone's experience! The struggle is real ! Is anyone in a similar situation?

Name one thing you can't turn down even when you are upset

It's a blessed day if it's started with fajr prayer and ended with Isha.

Patience (sabr) is one of the greatest virtues a Muslim can have.
The journey of getting closer to Allah is not always easy, there will be challenges, doubts, and difficult moments. But whoever remains patient and trusts Allah will find strength they never expected and a reward that only He can grant.
May Allah grant us sabr, steadfastness in faith, and hearts always connected to Him.
آمين يا رب

Does it nauseate anyone else how much guys on here complain about feminism? I just feel like they don’t actually know what it is and are just scapegoating all their problems onto it. To me women hating on men is a whole separate thing and a result of misogyny anyway... I never felt negative feelings towards men until i repeatedly had bad experiences with them. Even so I don’t hate men, but why feel so attacked when someone brings up issues that do exist. It’s like if you’re not guilty yourself there should be no reason it makes you so upset. And full disclosure I’m white and have no issue when people talk negatively about white people because I agree with them and think it’s warranted lol. I feel like Muslims calling feminism a cancer etc feels totally backwards since Islam was ahead of the game in terms of rights for women. And yes there are good men and especially those who try to take after the prophet Mohammed صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ. I think like anything feminism is something that can be twisted so far from what it’s intended to be just like with religion and it doesn’t feel fair lol. I feel it’s important to look into something beyond the caricature that exists about it in your head. 🫨 that’s just my opinion.. and I’m about to take a nap 😴 but really it’s a red flag if “feminism” is the biggest problem in the world to a man out of all things 😵‍💫 like really out of all things..