Psychology & Neurodiversity

The purpose of life isn’t to find happiness.

The unseen core....(2)
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗕𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗗𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗗𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘆𝗮

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘶𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵.

Perhaps this is one of those phrases we hear so frequently that we no longer pause to ponder its actual words.
At first glance, the meaning of this phrase seems positive. Usually, it implies that a person should not go to extremes or neglect their responsibilities whether in worship, family, education, livelihood or other duties There is no fault in this intention the objective is noble

But when I reflect on this phrase, I notice an interesting assumption in its framing as if 𝘋𝘦𝘦𝘯 is on one side 𝘋𝘶𝘯𝘺𝘢 is on the other, and a person is trying to strike a balance between the two.
If 𝘋𝘦𝘦𝘯 is truly a way of life, then how can 𝘋𝘶𝘯𝘺𝘢 be something that stands in opposition to it?

After all, a balance is maintained between two distinct or opposing forces ..... like rest and work or income and expenses.
This is precisely why I personally find the framing of "Balance Between Deen and Dunya" a bit strange. It subtly creates two separate scales, whereas the reality might not be about two opposing scales at all.

There is another point worth considering.
Sometimes people say 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦
But this begs the question 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣?
When someone accepts a faith whether it is Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism or Islam they are essentially declaring that they believe this path to be the truth. Consequently, drawing closer to this path should logically be a positive pursuit, rather than something one needs to "balance" against to avoid

Particularly in the case of Islam, it presents itself as a complete way of life. This means it provides guidance not just for worship but for family, business, education, ethics and social conduct alike.
Therefore, the language of "balancing religion and the world" can sometimes unconsciously foster the perception that practicing religion fully might hinder or complicate a successful life in this world.

Perhaps it would be more accurate for a person to say:
I have not yet reached the standard that I believe is right

This phrasing carries 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺The individual acknowledges their shortcoming as their own. They recognize that the path is clear but their own effort has not yet met that standard.
There is a profound psychological difference here.
When a person tells themselves 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘥
it keeps humility, room for improvement and a sense of responsibility alive within them.
Conversely, the language of "balancing Deen and Dunya" can sometimes generate a subconscious complacency 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭

Ultimately, the issue does not lie in the core message of the phrase but in its framing. Sometimes, words do not just convey a message .... they shape the very angle from which we view the world.

Because of the research work I do for a humanitarian organization, a topic that will come up very often, is of course, grief.

A simple quote I came across actually turned out to have deeper meaning when I was doing the research, “Grief is love with nowhere to go”. As poetic as this sounds, there’s psychological and neurological truth to it. Losing a loved one causes the nervous system to be on high-alert, which can be seen in heightened activity from fMRI imaging of the amygdala (part of the brain responsible for survival instincts). Your attachment to the loved one that is now deceased has dramatically altered, which is why you’ll often here someone say something like “I feel like my entire world has been flipped upside down”.

So here are some practical, evidence-based, adaptive coping strategies and tips I can offer. You don’t have to mentally “sever” your attachment to the deceased in order to heal, you should try to reconstruct your attachment to them in a way that doesn’t require their physical presence. Spiritually, you can pray for them, make dua for them. You can also hold onto items of theirs that they loved, or items that remind you of them. Print a photograph of them and frame it, or visit places they used to love going to, like a park or a beach. Writing letters to them, with all the things you could never say, or even writing them updates on your life after they passed.

Hi

Hi

You will see yourself glow when you'll finally be out of the repeated loop. Just get out of it.

Do you know why people post " I'm new here ".?
I would say 99% answers will be wrong.🫵🙂

One thing I have absolutely no patience for? Victim mentality.

Storytime: I was talking to someone recently who spent almost every conversation bringing up how a woman had broken his trust. He'd been getting to know her for a few months, and later found out she'd lied about her age and that she had a child.

I'm not defending what she did. I'd have walked away too. But somehow, the story stopped being about her and became about all women.

Apparently women lie. Women manipulate. Women can't be trusted. No one treats him right. Everyone ghosts him. And that means most women are evil.

And it's like... how did we get from one dishonest person to half the world's population?

This is the part I cannot stand.

Being hurt doesn't automatically make you a victim forever. At some point, you have to decide whether you're going to learn from the experience or keep using it to explain every disappointment that comes after.

We've all met terrible people. That doesn't mean everyone is terrible. We've all been let down. That doesn't mean the world owes us endless sympathy.

People experience betrayals that completely shatter their lives. They are cheated on by spouses. Financially ruined by family. Abused by people they trusted. Some survive things that leave lifelong scars. And you can't stop using a story about how a girl you knew for a few months lied to you?

I have empathy for people who've been hurt. I really do. I have come across just about every kind of pain a human experiences in their lifetime. But what I struggle with is people who become so attached to their pain that they stop seeing themselves as anything else but a victim.

I’ve been thinking about how often people talk about finding “the right person,” yet we rarely talk about becoming someone who can truly sustain a healthy relationship.

Love isn’t just about compatibility or chemistry. It’s about the ability to stay curious about another person’s inner world, especially when it’s different from your own. The strongest relationships I’ve witnessed weren’t built by two people who always understood each other. They were built by two people who refused to stop trying.

I think emotional intimacy begins where assumptions end. It grows when someone chooses to ask, “Help me understand what you’re feeling,” instead of deciding they already know. Being understood is comforting, but being genuinely sought to be understood is transformative.

Maybe that’s why emotional maturity feels so attractive. It isn’t perfection, emotional control, or never making mistakes. It’s having the humility to recognize that your perspective is incomplete, the courage to repair after you’ve caused hurt, and the patience to keep learning someone who will continue to evolve for the rest of their life.

Real connection isn’t found in the absence of conflict. It’s found in two people who care more about understanding than winning.

Forgiveness sets your soul free🌿🌿