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The Sacrifice of Being Left Alone
The Legacy of Hajar in the Days of Dhul Hijjah
There is a type of loneliness only a woman understands.
The loneliness of carrying everyone while quietly falling apart yourself.
The loneliness of being strong because you have no other choice.
The loneliness of smiling for your children while your heart is heavy.
The loneliness of lying awake at night worrying about bills, sickness, marriage, children, or the future.
And perhaps this is why the story of Haajar عليها السلام touches women so deeply.
Imagine her.
A mother.
In the middle of a desert.
No people.
No home.
No water.
No security.
Only a baby in her arms and Allah above her.
When Ibrahim walked away after leaving her in the barren valley of Makkah, she asked him:
“Did Allah command you to do this?”
And when he replied yes, her response carried a level of tawakkul many of us are still trying to reach:
“Then Allah will not abandon us.”
SubhanAllah.
Not:
“How will I survive?”
Not:
“Why me?”
Not:
“What about my child?”
But complete trust in Allah.
And today, millions walk between Safa and Marwah because of one woman’s struggle.
Her pain became worship.
Her running became sacred.
Her tears became Zamzam.
Allah honoured the sacrifice of a woman for the rest of time.
Allah says in the Qur’an:
“Indeed, with hardship comes ease.”
Surah Ash-Sharh (94:6)
{إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا}
Haajar’s story teaches us that ease may not come immediately.
Sometimes there is running before Zamzam.
Sometimes there are tears before relief.
Sometimes there is loneliness before Allah opens doors you never imagined.
But Allah never abandons the believer.
To every mother reading this:
Your sacrifices are not small in the sight of Allah.
The nights you stayed awake beside a sick child.
The meals you made while exhausted.
The tears you hid from your children.
The duas whispered after everyone slept.
Allah sees all of it.
The world may overlook mothers because their sacrifices happen quietly
but Allah honoured an entire pillar of Hajj through the struggle of a mother.
Never think motherhood is “just” motherhood.
A woman raising children with sabr, love, and imaan is shaping generations.
To every sister carrying burdens silently:
Maybe people think you are “coping” because you stay quiet.
But Allah knows the weight in your chest.
He knows the heartbreak you never explained.
The anxiety you hide.
The exhaustion behind your smile.
And just as Allah brought Zamzam from beneath the feet of baby Ismail عليه السلام, Allah can bring relief into your life from places you never expected.
Sometimes Allah places us in deserts not to destroy us
but to show us that only He can provide water there.
Advice for today in these blessed days of Dhul Hijjah:
Speak to Allah honestly in dua.
Make tawakkul your strength.
Do not underestimate your sacrifices.
If you feel alone, remember Haajar was alone too
yet Allah made her legacy eternal.
Keep running your “Safa and Marwah.” Your effort matters even when results are unseen.
Sometimes worship is not only in the masjid.
Sometimes worship is:
continuing despite exhaustion,
nurturing your family,
remaining patient,
- and trusting Allah while your heart trembles.
make this dua:
“Ya Allah, just as You never abandoned Haajar in the desert, do not abandon me in the deserts of my life. Grant me tawakkul, sabr, and a heart attached to You alone.”
May Allah ease the burdens of every woman silently struggling.
May He grant strength to mothers, comfort to daughters, and tranquillity to every heart carrying unseen pain.
Aameen.
Peace and blessings upon our mother Sayyidatina Hājar 🤲🏼🤍
AoA! I’m a single dad raising two amazing kids full time, it’s challenging but so rewarding. My faith and responsibility as their imam give me strength every day. What motivates you as a parent?
Why Certain Modern Feminist Ideas Can Create Imbalance in the Natural Order (Islamic View)
Islamic foundation of balance
In Islam, Allah created men and women with complementary roles, rights, and responsibilities. Neither is superior, but each has duties that maintain stability in the family and society (Qur’an 4:34).
When roles become blurred
Some modern feminist ideas emphasize complete role interchangeability in marriage and family life. From an Islamic lens, when responsibilities are detached from this complementary structure, it can create confusion in leadership, accountability, and household stability.
Impact on family structure
Islam places the family as a structured unit built on responsibility, mercy, and cooperation. When that structure is weakened or rejected, disagreements over authority and duty can increase tension rather than harmony.
Islam’s balanced solution
Islam does not support oppression or rigid dominance. Instead, it restores balance through clear rights, mutual respect, and accountability before Allah. Stability comes from both men and women fulfilling their God-given responsibilities with taqwa.
Hy
Single father here
31
From Lahore
I’m at a point in my life where I’m no longer interested in temporary things or fleeting moments. I’m looking to build something real, deep, and lasting. I want to find that one special person to share my days with—to come home to, to build a beautiful future with, and to support through thick and thin. I want to create a warm, peaceful home where we both feel safe, loved, and complete. If you are looking for a true partner to walk life's journey with hand-in-hand, let’s start our story.
Hy
Aslaam o Alaikum
Single father here
Age 31
From Lahore
Early Signs of Narcissistic Traits Before Marriage: A Philosophical and Islamic Reflection
In relationships, especially before marriage, people often present a refined version of themselves. Yet beneath charm, confidence, or intensity, there can sometimes be patterns of self-centeredness that are not immediately obvious. In modern psychology this is often described as narcissistic traits, but in a broader moral and spiritual sense it can be understood as imbalance in character — where the self consistently outweighs empathy, accountability, and humility.
From an Islamic perspective, character is not judged only by appearance or speech, but by khuluq (inner conduct), especially under pressure. The Prophet Prophet Muhammad said:
“The best of you are those with the best character.”
This places moral weight not on charisma or presentation, but on how a person treats others when desires, disagreement, or ego are involved.
Early signs in behavior and mindset
One early pattern is excessive self-focus. Conversations repeatedly return to their achievements, needs, or experiences, with limited genuine interest in others. At first, this may appear as confidence, but over time it reveals a lack of emotional reciprocity.
Another sign is difficulty accepting correction. A balanced person can reflect, apologize, and adjust. A narcissistic pattern resists accountability, often shifting blame outward or reframing every mistake as someone else’s fault. In Islamic ethics, humility (tawāḍuʿ) is considered essential to maturity, while pride (kibr) is seen as a barrier to truth.
A third sign is inconsistency between image and behavior. Some individuals carefully manage how they are perceived, especially in public or early interactions, but show disregard, control, or emotional detachment in private. This gap between appearance and reality is often where deeper traits become visible over time.
There can also be a tendency to idealize and then devalue others. In the beginning, they may show intense admiration or attachment, but later become critical, dismissive, or emotionally distant once expectations are not met. This cycle reflects instability in how they relate to others as individuals rather than extensions of their own even if .
Islamic and philosophical framing
Islam does not label people by modern psychological terms, but it deeply addresses the inner diseases of the heart. Traits like arrogance, self-importance, manipulation, and lack of empathy are understood as spiritual illnesses that distort relationships and distance a person from balance.
The Qur’an warns against pride and self-exaltation:
“Indeed, Allah does not like the arrogant and boastful.”
— Quran 4:36
Philosophically, narcissistic traits can be understood as an over-centering of the self, where identity becomes fragile without admiration from others. Such a person may appear strong externally but is often internally dependent on validation, control, or superiority to maintain self-worth.
A grounded conclusion
Before marriage, the most important observation is not perfection, but pattern. Everyone has flaws, but consistent inability to show humility, empathy, or accountability is significant. Islam encourages looking beyond surface attraction toward character stability, emotional responsibility, and sincerity.
In the end, healthy relationships are not built on idealized images, but on the ability of two people to remain just, self-aware, and respectful when ego is challenged.