Single Parents

I am a 35-year-old,

Here’s a little secret about attraction… 👀✨

It’s not always about being the most handsome or the most confident. 😌
Sometimes it’s the way you listen, the way you make someone laugh, or the respect you show without being asked. 🤍
A calm personality can be more attractive than a loud one. 🌸
And genuine effort will always stand out from empty words. 🕊️
Be the kind of person people feel good talking to—and they’ll remember you. 😉🌷

Vent post. Not for everyone. If you get butt hurt easily, keep f'n scrolling. I'm the designated troll on here. Not you.

okay.. so I made the mistake of reactivating my socials/marriage profile last week after almost a year of having it offline.

And within approximately five f'n minutes I remembered why I had it offline in the first place.

Now, before I continue, let me establish something very important:

Straight talk, I am not here to bash anyone.

In fact, I've seen approximately 8,472 posts on here from people saying:

“People don't read profiles.”

"Why did you swipe right when I literally said I'm not interested in X?”

“Do people even read anything beyond the pictures?”

And every single time I've thought:

Yeah. That's pretty shty, but eh.. valid.*

Then last week, the universe decided to personally humble me.

I matched with someone.

We had an excellent conversation. Like, genuinely excellent.

Not the usual Muzz:

“Assalamualaikum.”
“Walaikumassalam.”
“What do you do?”
“Nice.”
“Where do you live?”
“Okay.”
[conversation dies peacefully at 2:37pm on a random Tuesday]

No.

We actually f'n talked.

Books. Art. Family. Language. Chai. Marriage. Life. Random kharra. Some serious serious stuff... basically a bit of everything.

We talked about family, creativity, gender roles, marriage, books, TV shows, f'n chai, and somehow even got onto the subject of practising a language over a phone call.

I thought:

Well damn, maybe I was wrong post-recovery of my previous life.. This is actually going somewhere.

Then, several days into this magnificent literary expedition, they say:

“Btw I saw something on your profile and I might have missed it earlier. Do you have kid/s?”*

...

Hold up.. hold th fk up.. wachu talking 'bout Willis??

Yes.

I have children.

Two of them.

(Who btw, Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, both of them look like me.)

(Insert evil laugh.)

And this information is not buried in some obscure footnote between my thoughts on existentialism and my favourite brand of toothpaste.

It's in my f'n profile.

TWICE.

Two. Separate. Places.

I don't hide it.

I don't obscure it.

I don't make people unlock a premium DLC before revealing that I reproduced.

It's right there.

I HAVE CHILDREN.

And here's the f'n kicker:

This person takes pride in being an avid reader.

Fam...

Apparently, “avid reader” applies exclusively to novels.

My profile?

So apparently it might be written in ancient Sumerian...

So naturally I had to sit there thinking:

“Hang on a f'n minute...”

Because I've seen countless people on here complain that others swipe right without reading profiles.

And apparently...

the allegations are not gender exclusive.

Apparently some of us operate on the following sophisticated algorithm:

1. See profile.
2. Like profile.
3. Swipe right.
4. Match.
5. Have several days of surprisingly meaningful conversation.
6. Read profile.
7. Discover f'n children.
8. “Oh.”

MY FRIEND.

THE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE F'N TIME.

They've been sitting there in the profile like:

🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️
“Hello.”

😂😂😂

And before anyone starts:

No, I'm not pissed off at them.

They were actually lovely about it. They explained that their family wouldn't be comfortable with them marrying someone who already has children, and I completely respect that.

That's life.

That's dating.

That's Muzz.

Sometimes two people get along brilliantly and then reality walks into the room wearing steel-capped boots and kicks the entire thing directly into the f'n bin.

But the irony?

The delicious, beautiful, completely audacious irony?

I've spent years hearing people say:

“PEOPLE DON'T READ PROFILES.”

Only to discover that apparently some of us read them with the same level of commitment I give the Apple, Google, and even my f'n bank Terms & Conditions.

So, as a humble citizen of the Muzz/Jamaa ecosystem, I would like to propose a radical new concept:

READ THE F'N PROFILE BRO.

Before you swipe.

Before you match.

Before you spend six days discussing chai, books and the philosophical implications of life.

Just read the bloody profile.

Because somewhere in there, there may be a completely avoidable plot twist.

And if you're wondering whether I've learned my lesson...

Absolutely TF not.

I'll probably deactivate it come Monday and reactivate it again next week.

Because apparently I hate peace.

Ffs.

I'm single 🇵🇰

Have a good day Salam to all

Good morning 🌄 everyone

It's now 10 years struggling with 3 my kids alone, 😭😭😭😭, please can someone support me, am end up lost my self. Am tired enough.

How to boost your child’s self esteem?
1. Let them decide. At the age between 8-10; can vary in age(regardless of the age follow the strategy.. They’re having problems in deciding. Don’t decide for them. They’ll ask you. Even push you to decide for them. Don’t. Just reduce their options. Always ask them to analyze and explain to you the pros and cons of every choice. While explaining they’ll realize which one has their highest priority. I’ve practical experience.
2. Don’t help them immediately. Let them do their tasks and even if they’re struggling to do something; wait until they ask you for help. This way you’re increasing their confidence.(my own experience).
3. Whenever they talk negative about anyone or other kids particularly mentioning their faults. Don’t encourage that behavior rather acknowledge what they’re saying and then ask them to give a solution where they can help those kids to improve their weaknesses. Teach them to lift others not let them down.
4. When they talk to you, be attentive, put your phone, screen or anything you’re working down and listen them. If you can’t let them know that you can engage with them now and tell them time when you’re fully available(5 minutes, 10 minutes etc.). Never listen them doing multiple things. Rephrase what they said to assure them that you’re listening attentively.
5. If you’re talking to one kid and the other kid interrupts. Hold their hand and let them know that you will hear them after the previous one will be done. That’s an assurance to the kid that you’ll get back to them.
6. Never give them commands from far away. Always go near to them. See what they are doing. Show a little interest hold their hand or kiss them and then give the command when you see they’re done with what they were doing. If you feel they’ll take time to finish the task in progress, either ask them to do it later or tell them a time to finish your command politely.
7. Always give them heads up for everything. Don’t surprise them. Always be predictable.

These were some of the workable strategies I use and Alhumdolillah, these work.

I have decided to share my learning and my practical steps during these 4 years after filing divorce to other parents in a series. This one was the first one episode of that.

Please share your strategies, thoughts and/or your perspective.

Hi everyone

Any Muslim sisters in Tulsa Oklahoma