Muslims with Disabilities

If you are a person with disability, you should read this....

"You are not Disabled. You are ABLED in a Special way"

Say it to yourself:

"I am abled in a special way"
Again, "I am abled in a special way"

Keep saying it until you feel it!

Don't let others pull you down or lower your bar. If they can't handle your special life then it is their problem period

I've noticed as a never-married woman that it's always the aunties with the terrible marriages that bother me about getting married, not the women in happy and healthy marriages. And I know their marriages are terrible because they constantly complain about their husbands. Aunty Rabia, I'm not trying to end up where you are.

They say 'who's gonna look after you when you're older' as if:

1. Their husbands are looking aftet them whilst they're young and healthy,
2. It's not already established that men are far more likely to leave thier wives when they become seriously unwell.

Not all husbands are awful, but it's always the women with awful husbands trying to pull you into joining their misery.
Having a degenerative condition means every year will get worse, and I'll die before my peers. Why would I want to take on a traditional (Asian) marriage when it involves so much responsibility and stress, and that's before taking into consideration the challenges of being chronically ill?

Alhamdu Lillah for the pain and discomfort I experience as it is expiating my sins In Sha Allah. I wouldn't wish for it to change now because it's also given me the motivation to pursue a career where I can help women, especially women of colour, with invisible illnesses. My experience has been the catalyst to stop putting limits on myself and dream big. But having to deal with women that are essentially jealous about the fluid and free life I live is difficult to navigate politely. I'm getting to the point that I'm just gonna be blunt and say the most outrageous thing I can think of.

The choices are:
I'm a lezbean,
I'm already a second wife,
I'm waiting for their husband to approach me.

Eeenie meenie miny mo!

Last weekend I was in hospital. This weekend I am living life to the fullest and going on an adventure. Do what you can, when you can. Life is short.

Being deaf is lonely.

A lot of people don't seem to realize that living with autism or simply just being neurodivergent can be a bit of a challenge.

Autistic fatigue

Autistic fatigue is anything and everything that requires a ton of energy and resources for the brain to use, leading to fatigue and, of course, the nervous system shutting down to the point that you take a nap.

For example, I struggle with math, not because I can't do it, but because, well, whenever anything math-related happens, my brain decides it's time to take a nap. I become drowsy to the point that I will eventually fall asleep. However, switch to any other topic, and I immediately become wide awake again. Combine this with my number- and math-related variant of dyslexia, and it not only makes me drowsy but also makes things very painful. I literally develop headaches within like 5 to 10 minutes of doing anything involving math. And, of course, it's a liability mechanism: anything that causes pain is something to be avoided.

Executive dysfunctions

While neurotypicals also have their limitations, for neurodivergent people, it can be a bit more difficult because of executive dysfunction. An example of this is trying to break through concrete with nothing but your bare hands. The only thing you're hurting is yourself. You're not going through that concrete wall, no matter how hard you try.

Another way of putting it, another example, is that you can pull grass with your bare hands, but you can't climb a concrete wall. This is because, depending on the executive dysfunction and how severely it's limited, it can severely limit what you can and cannot do. This is why many autistic people are very quick to tell someone what they can't do. It's not complaining. If they don't have the executive function, it doesn't matter how much they try or how much you show them. If they don't have the tools in the shed to do the task at hand, it's not going to be able to get done, no matter what you think.

Monotropism

Monotropism is one of those mono things. I can't—no, I don't know how to pronounce it, and damn sure don't know how to spell it. But it's simply put: the inability to switch things on command.

In other words, neurodivergent people have this thing where they hyperfocus on something or get so drawn into something that switching from that task to something else is damn near impossible. It's more of a challenge when it's our special interest, but it doesn't just apply to special interests. It also applies to any and all things, including schoolwork.

For example, trying to switch from, let's say, history class, even if you don't like history, to being able to switch to science class, even if you like science. The concept is that switching between tasks is very difficult. Even the short walk between classrooms is still not enough to help prepare the brain for the switch.

There are also other limitations, depending on the person with autism or neurodivergence, where the switching time completely depends on the task.

I can switch between special interests in a matter of 5 minutes, but switching from a special interest to, let's say, schoolwork takes approximately 2 hours. Whereas my friend, however, can switch from one special interest to another special interest in about 5 minutes, but it takes about 10 minutes for her to switch from a special interest to another task that's not a special interest, like schoolwork.

But she's also a low-level one, while I'm a high-level one. You have my daughters, Aisha and Mina, who are both level twos and can switch between their special interests instantly. However, switching from a special interest to a non-special interest takes approximately, I want to say, 3 hours or more. Without any form of assistance, with assistance, they can switch to their special interest in about 20 minutes, though, for them, it's a matter of redirecting their brains.

Autism levels

And there are the levels. Each level marks the level of assistance needed. The higher the level, the more assistance they need, though the levels aren't an indicator of the total level of assistance. For example, my friend is a level one, but she's classified as a low-level one, so she doesn't need as much assistance as someone like me, who is a high-level one.

With my daughters being level twos, the level of assistance they require is pretty minimal for level two, as they both fall on the lower end of level two.

Each level, levels 1 through 3, all have the same thing in regard to the type of assistance: it depends on the person.

The reason I'm classified as a high-level one is because I have enough traits to place me in level one, but some of the traits that I have are high enough that they could be level two. My daughters have enough traits to place them in level two, but many of their traits also fall within level one. Whereas my friend is a lower-level one because she has all the traits to place her in level one, but they're low enough that she doesn't really require any extra assistance outside of a few things.

The point is, one of the biggest struggles of living with autism or neurodivergence, especially when you live on your own, is that if you have a lot of things you have to contend with, these can make life difficult.

These are some of the most common struggles that I deal with, as well as others in my circle, but these are only a small fraction of the struggles that neurodivergent and autistic people deal with on a regular basis.

Some of the mafeya

Are you from Deutschland ?