Muslims in the UK

Sisters you really are an enigma lol I don’t understand what’s with asking questions and disappearing for hours. Don’t you see how that can disrupt the flow of conversation? Unless I’m being completely naive and sisters are somehow managing to entertain multiple conversations? Surely it shouldn’t be this hard to communicate between adults?
You’re busy - drop a quick update.
You’re no longer interested for whatever reason - say so.

It’s draining investing time and effort.

Interesting take on prevention is better than cure.

False accusations, disproportionately affect men more than women in every sphere. Where proven they are false, the damage has more often than not already been done. It can very much incapacitate a man in every metric of life.

From his career, to his social interactions to emotional wellbeing even his general confidence in himself to be an upstanding citizen. These realities can be extremely sensitive to the legal forces that can compound out of control. A man simply has to exist and be getting on with life and someone could accuse him of anything these days and before he knows it, he is in front of a judge and have a blemish against his name.

I’m not negating the genuine suffering of female victims at the hands of horrible and abusers who are intently harming others to scratch a psychopathic itch - I’m talking of the more dangerous animals hidden in plain sight, the ones who prey on unsuspecting victims victims and the moment they smell blood they strike. This works in both gender directions.

With the level of genuine mistrust I read of and hear between brothers and sisters these days, I’m wondering if maybe it’s high time we all lobby or advocate for a publicly accessible “nuisance register” almost akin to an offenders register where people with repeated history of wasting police time, false reporting, or have had their accusations disproven through a legal process should have their name put on it for a period of time.l? This would also rely upon brothers reporting such activity but the purpose behind it would not be to publicly shame sisters, it would be to protect brothers who are looking for a spouse and then can be wary of people who have been disclosed publicly with nefarious intentions in order to gain something from another party.

I get we have resources like Clare’s Law etc but often I speak to men and they say that they feel these current resources often are disproportionately aimed at women and they as men are a “policy afterthought”.

I do somewhat challenge the notion that male on female violence is of a greater number than the other way around. People will argue that’s not true as men pose a greater risk to women. Yes in theory that is true but in the social media age, women can be far more dangerous psycho-emotionally towards men. People will cite “government statistics and independent reporting and police and prosecution data” Yes that’s totally acceptable reasoning but there is an important underlying factor which skews the number in favour of the female perspective: the under-reporting and dismissal of female-on-male domestic violence, marital attitudes to gender bias when it comes to coercive behaviour and the lack of social acceptability to report such abuse on part of men.

The female position of abuse rides on an entire cottage industry backed by years of media driven campaigns, pressure groups lobbying government, social health policy and societal norms of reporting such behaviour, social and cultural attitudes to what is abuse has been showcased and rightfully so- abuse is abuse. However having said that, the abuse of a man is seen as “trivial” “banter” and men who speak up are often overlooked as “fussy”, “difficult” and effeminate. Yet countless brothers unfortunately take darker paths to drugs, addictions, suicide as a result.

I’ve met a few people over the years who worked I various in DV charities and I put my opinions to them, the undertone I got was that from a media and shock value perspective to gain more support for organisations, the female on male model doesn’t generate the same level of headline sensationalism and shock value so therefore is treated as more of a “yeah we recognise that is an issue too”

You can imagine what I’m thinking at this point.
I genuinely believe that the entire system and how it views female on male violence is very much in its infancy. It’s has yet to grow a critical thinking ability and I believe more brothers on a platform like this should pool together the way sisters have and create safe spaces to talk about abuse and false accusation. After all - abuse is abuse right? The zulm is zulm no matter the *** of the victim or perp?

Women who tend to find husbands aren’t usually spending their lives on these ****** apps 😂 They’re probably not even on here in the first place. That’s part of why men notice them they’re actually out there living their lives rather than constantly looking for validation on an app.

MUST read: It is haraam for a chaste person (a non-zani) to choose a spouse who is a zani (defined as an unmarried person who engages in premarital relations, or a married person who cheats).

While Allah forgives zanis if they truly repent, He instructs them to marry a fellow zani.

This instruction can be easily interpreted as referring to the specific individual with whom they shared physical intimacy.

If they repent and reform, that matter remains between them and Allah.

However, they may still not proceed to marry a chaste person, as they do not have divine permission to do so.

This is a highly important and serious matter to Allah.

He addresses it in great detail at the beginning of Surah An-Nur (24), where zanis and those who commit shirk are grouped together. Why? Because zina is a form of shirk.

When committing the act, one acts under the assumption that Allah is not watching. Despite knowing it is a major immorality, the person proceeds anyway, thereby worshipping their desires.

Allah forbids only what is harmful to you.

Chaste people will often pick up on the warning signs that someone is a zani, so those signals should not be ignored.

Because zanis frequently have a habit of committing zina repeatedly, they may display lustful behaviour or flirt excessively.

You should ask potential partners about their relationship history to verify whether they are zanis.

Do not commit to harm; do not commit to a zani.

Does a marriage between an English woman and an Egyptian man fail, and what are the reasons for failure?

Sometimes rejection isn't because you have a flaw; on the contrary, it might be because you have good qualities the other person can't comprehend.

Perhaps your love is greater than their capacity, your generosity more than they're used to, or simply because they're not receptive to genuine and pure feelings.

How many kids would you say you aim to have?

Choose your group!
Group 1
0

Group 2
1-3

Group 3
4-5

Group 4
6+

I don’t think it’s really cool to ask a lady when are you getting married.

Healthy, Quranic Mindset in the Search

A healthy, Quranic approach means shifting your search from a consumerist "wish list" to a focus on spiritual growth, looking for a partner who can help you achieve Jannah (Paradise), a higher mindset

The Quran describes spouses as "garments for one another," which means your primary goal should be finding someone who provides mutual protection, comfort, and concealment of faults, rather than a superficial trophy. By anchoring your search in trust in Allah (tawakkul), you stop panicking about modern timelines or societal pressures and begin to value a peaceful, simple connection over an idealized, worldly perfection.