Poetry

"Decision"

I set my love aside,
because I chose my family.

I can still find my own happiness,
but my family, I only have one.

Maybe loneliness will come
and keep me company in life,
but happiness
will always find its way to me.

Maybe not this year.
Maybe it’s just not the right time.

We’ll try again next year.
And if we still haven’t found it,

I’ll keep moving forward,
because choosing my family
doesn’t mean I’ve stopped
hoping for love.

Spring is a season that fills my heart with joy every year. That is why I never let an opportunity or occasion pass without heading into nature, searching for that feeling I can never quite describe—the true sense of belonging to the earth and the soil, the scent of spring, the breeze brushing against my face, and the blue sky beneath which white clouds drift, accompanied by nature’s own music: the chirping of birds.

Spring has always been a remedy for the emotional numbness I sometimes suffer from, as though it paints my faded heart with the colors of life.

Like every year, I would make my way toward a lush forest filled with trees and rocks. It resembled the kind of forests we see in horror movies or survival films.

People loved the forest and wandered through it constantly, but I knew of a place that no one but me knew about. Behind a massive stone wall, there was a small river surrounded by numerous little pools. It was quiet, making no murmuring sound, and its silence was one of the main reasons it had remained hidden from people’s eyes.

Whenever I ventured into that forest, I would sit on its bank. Of course, I always watched my steps carefully so that no one would discover its location, because I had always regarded it as my own private place.

By my pen❤️

“I choose to love you in silence,
For in silence I find no rejection,

I choose to love you in loneliness,
For in loneliness no one owns you but me,

I choose to adore you from a distance,
For distance will shield me from pain,

I choose to kiss you in the wind,
For the wind is gentler than my lips,

I choose to hold you in my dreams,
For in my dreams, you have no end.”

—Rumi

Excerpt from my romance novel "Apricity"

“You’re Ash’s younger sister? Wow.” Zac managed to say finally. “I mean you two look similar, but I don’t know how to put it…you seem different from her.”

Pari drank from her cup. The smooth velvety liquid made her feel at ease, as the marshmallows had already melted into the chocolate. He noticed how Pari relaxed once she tried her drink – it suited her.

Different? Yes, she knew she was miles apart from her elder sister, but the manner in which Zac said it was almost insulting.

She decided to keep the venom out of her mouth before she spoke. She still had to have manners even if she was going to despise this strange man.
“Ash is my older sister. She’s the reason I’m here.” Pari said, grimacing at the thought of
her strict sister. “I did this out of respect. And, because Malik knows you.”
“You should have made an excuse.” An edge of curiosity that crept into Zac’s voice was
unexpected.
“She doesn’t know what I want. Afa thinks she knows what’s best for me, but she simply does not.” Pari explained. “She has this crazy idea that we should get married.”

Then…it suddenly dawned on him.
The reason why Charles told him to be more polite was because Pari was Ash’s younger
sister. He remembered seeing Pari at Malik’s wedding. It was 5 years ago. He thought Pari was pretty. Very pretty. Oh no...
Pari spoke, yanking him out of his train of thought, “Zachariah.”
“I prefer Zac.” Zac took a calculated sip out of his latte, and then saw that her cup said "hot chocolate’ scrawled on it in messy letters. “And we have met already, Pari Rahman.”
“When?” Pari let the venom lose this time. “I’m sure I would have remembered meeting
someone like you.”

Damn it. She did remember him. Now she saw his face in her mind. She remembered everything that happened between the two of them at that fateful dessert stand.
Well, there it was. The feisty, uncontrollable side he witnessed at Ash and Malik’s wedding. It was interesting, so to say the least.
“You wanted the last dessert.” Zac said. “Let me refresh your memory.”
Zac leant forward and grabbed her wrist lightly. Pari recoiled at the sudden touch, a hitch appearing in her throat.
“Let go.” Pari hissed, as Zac’s grip got slightly tighter.

Anyone to hangout in UAE

One day you will realise that you survived things you once thought would destroy you.

The nights you thought would never end.

The people you thought you could never live without.

The disappointments that changed you.

You survived all of it.

Maybe you didn't come out of it as the same person.

But perhaps that was never the point.

Some storms don't come to leave your life the same.

They come to show you that you were stronger than you knew.

One of my fav phrases as an old school romantic 🤭

Time to Live Yet

Seated, brooding, on the rocks
Worries, matted, by the locks
Hoary-hair, and iron tongue
Breathing measured, shallow lung
Bone slung skin, like soaking rags
Wispy raiment, frayed by snags
Visage chipped, by ache and loss
Iris- ocean, clouded moss...

Upon the ripples, who else can see
An unruffled face, looks back at he
As his thoughts, and his fingers, through his locks, ran
That boy, would never surface, to know that man
Yet why linger sedent, with legs and with crutch
Though time there is little... to do, there is still much

Right

The Locked Door – ‘write a 500 word story that involves a locked door’ (written in 15 mins with a timer)

Zac breathed slowly. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.
His therapist had told him to practice that when he was nervous.
The past couple of days he had that same recurring dream. He would walk down an empty corridor, and at the end of it, was a medium-sized locked door. He remembered the details too…a small golden door handle, smooth mahogany wood with no marks or scuffs. And the most terrifying thing was when he went to open it, the door was most definitely locked. It was jammed shut.
One of those cursed days he had tried to yank it open, with trembling fingers and an irate expression.
And now he was about to sleep again. Zac knew it was only a matter of time before he could find out what the door actually meant and why it was locked.
His eyes darted to the side of the room, past the little ambient lamp, and into the oddly familiar darkness. His job at the office had become more intense, the hours longer and the people around him becoming one huge blur. His boss had called him into a progress meeting and offered him a promotion, but all he could think about in the back of the mind was that door. What was the use of being a senior consultant if his mind was constantly plaguing him?
Was it something from his past coming back to haunt him? He was not sure, but he wanted to know why.
Sleep finally took over him as his eyelids fluttered shut.
He woke up, his body laying on cold marble floor. He was in that corridor again. The lights were low, sometimes flickering like little fireflies now and then. There was a slight aquatic scent of lilies and plants wafting through the air.
“Not again.” Zac cursed, rubbing the back of his head, and promptly messing up his styled black hair.
He slowly mustered the courage to walk towards the locked door. His heart started to beat faster, his body betraying his mind as he took more steps. His steps were slow, his breathing ragged.
When he finally was outside the locked door, one of his hands shot out and pulled the door handle down with all his might. It opened!
Zac stumbled forward, almost falling down.

A graceful hand reached out and then he saw the glint of a blade…