Ramadan

Allah's with me, Alhamdulillah.

Distance means so nothing when someone means everything. I miss you more than words can say.

When Allah dedicated an entire surah to Maryam (AS) , and chose her to be the mother of Isa (AS) , He gave the world a woman whose honour is permanently preserved in the Qur’an.

And then there is the wife of Fir‘awn, Asiyah.
Allah Himself presents her as an example for the believers; A woman married to one of the most tyrannical men in history, yet her husband's status did not determine her worth before Allah. Her faith did.

“And Allah presents an example of those who believed: the wife of Pharaoh, when she said, ‘My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise and save me from Pharaoh and his deeds and save me from the wrongdoing people.’”
~ Qur’an(Tahrim) 6:11

And what makes this even more striking is that immediately after mentioning the wife of Fir‘awn as an example for believers, Allah mentions Maryam as another example in the next verse ;Qur’an 66:12

These stories should make us reflect deeply.
Islam does not teach us that a man's authority makes him inherently more valuable than a woman.

Allah says:

مَنۡ عَمِلَ صَٰلِحࣰا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوۡ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤۡمِنࣱ فَلَنُحۡيِيَنَّهُۥ حَيَوٰةࣰ طَيِّبَةࣰۖ وَلَنَجۡزِيَنَّهُمۡ أَجۡرَهُم بِأَحۡسَنِ مَا كَانُواْ يَعۡمَلُونَ

“Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while being a believer --We will surely cause them to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward according to the best of what they used to do.”
~Qur’an(An-Nahl) 16:97

Moreover, Islamic history is filled with women whose contributions cannot simply be erased.

Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (RA) — a woman of substance, a successful businesswoman, the first person to believe in the Prophet (PBUH) and one of the women specifically honoured in the Sunnah.

Aisha(RA)--a great scholar and transmitter of hadith, whose knowledge became a source for the Muslim community and a wife of the holy prophet (PBUH)

Umm Salama (RA) a wise woman whose counsel the Prophet accepted at a critical moment at Hudaybiyyah.

Hafsah (RA) --entrusted with the written compilation of the Qur’an that had been preserved after the collection under Abu Bakr(RA)

Fatimah (RA) --one of the women specifically honoured in the Prophetic tradition.

Look at these women,
They were not honoured because they became men.
They were honoured for their faith, character, knowledge, sacrifice, courage, wisdom and contribution.

Yet somehow, some men will still find every possible means to denigrate women while claiming to speak in the name of Islam.

Leadership is not supremacy.

Responsibility is not superiority.

And being a man is certainly not a licence to diminish women.

There are men who hide under the shield of Islam while misrepresenting Islam itself . They use religion to justify arrogance, control and the humiliation of women.

May Allah protect us from people who use His religion to elevate themselves above others.
And may HE make us people who understand the difference between leadership and supremacy, authority and arrogance, and responsibility and entitlement.

Salaam.

Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening. Allah heard you the first time and every time since.
"Call upon Me, I will respond to you "
(Qur an 40:60)

Some answers come quickly, some arrive late.
Some return as something better , but all are heard. Keep believing. Because your Du'a is already on its way to you 🤍

My cousin friend was gisting me this morning on how one of her friend who wants to get married was poisoned during bridal shower,

Brother and sister !

this was 3 years ago,

it was later they discovered her womb has been poisoned by her friend and she can’t get pregnant.

Fear just catch me 💔😭, I was shock and speechless

Before coming under this post with your emotions and dense thoughts...

keep in mind that I am a stranger to you and the poison I’m talking about is not the normal poison you know,

since you know nothing about black magic.

Go and LEARN and take your morning adhkar serious.

Too many young Muslim men have serious problems with drinking, clubbing, zina, drugs, gambling, or a lifestyle far removed from Islam—and then their families say:

“Maybe marriage will change him.”

So they look for a religious, modest, practicing woman and expect her to fix their son.

No.

Someone else's daughter is not your son's rehabilitation program.

Marriage is not a treatment centre for a man who refuses to change himself.

A righteous woman can encourage her husband toward good.

She can support him.

She can remind him of Allah.

She can stand beside him through genuine struggles.

But she should not be expected to marry a man whose lifestyle is openly sinful and then carry the responsibility of reforming him.

He needs to take responsibility for himself.

If you drink, stop drinking.

If you club every weekend, leave that environment.

If you are involved in haram relationships, make tawbah and cut them off.

If you have abandoned Ṣalāh, return to Allah.

If you have addictions, seek serious help and take real steps toward recovery.

Don't tell a religious woman:

“Once you marry him, you'll change him.”

What if instead he changes before marriage?

What if he proves through his actions—not promises—that he genuinely wants to leave that lifestyle?

That's different.

Because a woman deserves to enter marriage knowing that she is marrying a man who is already taking responsibility for his deen and character, not being recruited to rescue him.

And parents need to understand this too:

Do not sacrifice a righteous daughter hoping she will repair your son.

Your son is responsible before Allah for his own choices.

Marriage can be a source of support and growth, but it should not be used as an excuse for someone to avoid personal accountability.

And brothers, hear this clearly:

Don't look for a pious woman because you want her to make you pious.

Work on yourself first.

Pray.

Repent.

Leave what Allah has forbidden.

Build your character.

Learn your religion.

Become the kind of man who is actually ready to lead a family with justice, mercy and responsibility.

Then seek a righteous wife—not as your rescuer, but as your companion in obedience to Allah.

May Allah guide our young men, protect our sisters from being placed in impossible marriages, and grant us spouses who help one another toward righteousness rather than expecting one another to carry responsibilities that belong to us individually.

Āmīn.

Some women are “once in a lifetime” kind of women.

Not because they are perfect, but because of the way they love, care, sacrifice, remain loyal and stand beside you when life isn't easy.

So if you have a good woman in your life, treat her well.

Love her properly.
Respect her.
Appreciate her.
Protect her dignity.
Listen to her.
Care about her feelings.
Don't make her constantly question whether she matters to you.

Because sometimes a person keeps forgiving you…

Until one day, they simply stop.

She may forgive you, but the trust may not return the same way.

She may still care about you, but she may no longer feel safe with you.

She may remember the good memories, but still decide that going back would only reopen old wounds.

And that's the part many people don't understand.

Losing someone isn't always about finding another person.

Sometimes you lose a person who genuinely loved you, and no future relationship will be exactly the same.

You may meet someone else.

You may even find someone wonderful.

But you will never find another human being who is exactly her.

So don't wait until she walks away to finally realize her value.

Don't wait until she stops calling.

Don't wait until she stops asking how you're doing.

Don't wait until she becomes emotionally distant.

Don't wait until she has learned how to live peacefully without you.

If she is good to you, be good to her.

If she loves you, don't punish her for loving you.

If she trusts you, don't betray that trust.

If she gives you loyalty, don't make her regret it.

And if problems come, don't let pride destroy something that could have been repaired with an honest conversation, sincere repentance and genuine change.

Because sometimes when someone leaves, the door doesn't remain open forever.

And sometimes the hardest lesson is realizing:

“I had something precious, but I didn't appreciate it while I had it.”

So while you still have the chance:

Love them well.
Treat them well.
Care for them well.
Respect them well.

Don't learn their value only after losing them.

Appreciate people while Allah has still given you the opportunity to do so.

He is not done with your story. The same Rabb who tested our beloved Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) with almost every hardship we go through today is the exact same Rabb who will make a way out for you. Your healing begins the moment you turn back to Him.

Some Women Are Once-in-a-Lifetime

Some women come into your life and become the kind of person you may never find again.

Not because they are perfect, but because of their loyalty, kindness, patience, sincerity, character, and the way they genuinely cared for you.

Sometimes you don't realize the value of someone until you've lost them.

So while you still have her:

Treat her well.
Respect her.
Love her properly.
Appreciate her.
Protect her heart.
Don't take her loyalty for granted.

Because when a good woman has been repeatedly hurt, disappointed, or taken for granted, she may eventually walk away.

And once she leaves, getting her trust back may not be easy.

She may forgive you, but forgiveness does not always mean she can return to the same relationship.

You can apologize.
You can change.
You can regret your mistakes.

But you cannot force someone to trust you again.

Don't wait until she is gone before you realize what you had.

Sometimes the person you thought you could always replace was actually one of the greatest blessings Allah placed in your life.

Appreciate good people while they are still beside you.

When a marriage proposal comes your way, don't only ask:

“Does he pray?”
“Does he fast?”
“Does he have a job?”
“Does he have good manners?”
“Does he speak well?”

Those things matter tremendously.

But investigate his character beyond what he shows you during the proposal.

And in today's world, that may include looking at how he conducts himself online.

Ask yourself:

Does he constantly follow women he has no legitimate reason to follow?

What kind of content does he like, share and promote?

Does his social media reflect modesty and good character—or attention-seeking?

Does he constantly need to display himself, his lifestyle, his wealth and every detail of his life?

How does he speak about women?

How does he speak about his family?

Does he respect privacy?

Does he understand ghayrah and protective responsibility without becoming oppressive or controlling?

Would his online habits be something you could peacefully accept in a husband?

And don't only investigate what he says about himself.

Ask people who actually know him.

How is he when he is angry?

How does he treat his parents?

How does he treat people who cannot benefit him?

How does he behave when nobody important is watching?

Because a marriage proposal is not the time to fall in love with someone's presentation.

It is the time to investigate his reality.

Shaykh Ibn ʿUthaymīn رحمه الله emphasized the importance of choosing a spouse based upon deen and character and investigating the person before accepting the proposal.

And this applies to women too.

Men should investigate the woman they intend to marry with the same seriousness.

How does she conduct herself online?
What does she share?
What does she consider normal?
How does she speak?
What does she value?
Does she have hayā’ and respect for privacy?

Because social media may reveal things that a carefully prepared marriage conversation does not.

But remember: one social-media mistake should not become a license to spy, accuse, or judge someone's entire character.

Investigate properly.
Ask trustworthy people.
Verify what you hear.
Look at patterns, not isolated moments.

And most importantly, don't forget istikhārah and duʿā’.

Marriage is not simply about finding someone attractive.

It is about finding someone with whom you can build a home of īmān, mercy, responsibility, patience and obedience to Allah.

Our social-media habits matter because what we post, share and promote can remain behind us long after we have forgotten it.

So before asking:

“Will this person make me happy?”

Ask:

“Will this person help me become better in my relationship with Allah?”

And ask yourself the same question:

“Am I becoming the kind of spouse I am asking Allah to give me?”

May Allah grant the unmarried among us righteous spouses with sound deen, beautiful character, hayā’, wisdom, loyalty and mercy—spouses who help one another draw closer to Allah and journey together toward Jannatul-Firdaws.

Āmīn.