Ramadan

Where do you think a good relationship should begin?

Scared of this cruel world, but too grown to give up. I’ll face every storm with courage, carrying my parents’ prayers in my heart. No matter how hard life gets, I know I’ll make it through. 🖤

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Prophet MUHAMMAD PBUH said "The best of you are those who are best to the women"

A woman is not a commodity or a toy for amusement, but a real partner to a man. She has rights of her own and deserves the utmost respect.

"I want to live my life and am looking for a partner." " I am middle class family "I don't want money, I want a partner.2028"trust me

SOME MEN PREACH ISLAM TO THE WORLD, BUT FORGET ITS TEACHINGS INSIDE THEIR OWN HOMES. SUBḤĀNALLĀH! 💔

You give daʿwah.
You deliver lectures.
You preach about the Qur'an and Sunnah.
You teach people about taqwā, patience, mercy, and good character.

People respect you.
People admire you.
People call you Shaykh, Mufti, Ustadh, or Ṭālib al-ʿIlm.

But what happens when you return home?

Who are you when the audience is gone?

You preach about mercy, yet your wife lives in fear of you.

You teach people about good character, yet you insult your own wife.

You tell others to fear Allah, yet you beat the woman who shares your home.

You speak gently to strangers, but speak cruelly to your mother.

You advise the Ummah to be patient, yet your own family suffers because of your anger.

YA ALLAH! WHAT A PAINFUL CONTRADICTION!

How can you stand before people and speak about the beautiful character of the Prophet ﷺ, yet refuse to learn how he treated his family?

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:☝️☝️☝️

خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي

“The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.”

📖📚 Jāmiʿ at-Tirmidhī, 3895📚📖

Read that again, my brother.

Your character at home matters.

Your treatment of your wife matters.

Your treatment of your mother and sisters matters.

The tears your family sheds because of your cruelty matter.

And the harm you cause does not become acceptable simply because people outside your home respect you.

A RELIGIOUS TITLE DOES NOT GIVE ANY MAN THE RIGHT TO OPPRESS HIS FAMILY.

Being a Mufti does not make abuse acceptable.
Being a Shaykh does not make cruelty acceptable.
Being a student of knowledge does not put you above accountability.

Knowledge should teach you to fear Allah more, fulfil people's rights, control your anger, and treat others with justice.

IT IS POSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE TO ADMIRE YOUR PUBLIC IMAGE WHILE YOUR FAMILY KNOWS THE PAIN YOU CAUSE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.

That is one of the saddest realities.

Some wives remain silent because they fear their husbands.

Some mothers suffer silently because they do not want to expose their sons.

Some sisters endure humiliation because the man hurting them is respected in the community.

Some children grow up watching their mothers being insulted and beaten by the same father whom people praise as a religious man.

And sometimes, when these women finally speak, people ask them to be patient without first asking what they have endured.

Please, do not use patience to silence an oppressed person. Do not use religion to protect an abuser from accountability.

Islam teaches patience, but it also commands justice. Seeking protection from abuse is not a rejection of Islam.

My dear brothers,

nobody is asking you to be perfect. We all have shortcomings. We all need repentance and correction.

But if you have a problem with anger, seek help. If you have wronged your wife, repent and make things right. If your marriage is breaking down, seek a fair resolution rather than making your spouse suffer.

And if you are respected for your knowledge, remember that your family deserves to benefit from your good character too.

DO NOT BE A HERO TO THE UMMAH AND A SOURCE OF TERROR TO YOUR OWN FAMILY.

Do not only teach the Qur'an. Let its teachings correct you.

Do not only preach about the Sunnah. Study the Prophet's ﷺ treatment of his family.

Do not only tell people to fear Allah. Remember that you, too, will stand before Him.

Allah says:☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَظْلِمُ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ

“Indeed, Allah does not wrong even as much as an atom's weight.”

📖📚 Surah An-Nisāʾ, 4:40📚📖

To every woman suffering silently:

your pain should not be dismissed simply because your husband has a religious title. Seek trustworthy support and protection if you are being abused. You deserve to be treated with dignity.

And to every man who genuinely strives to practise Islam: continue to learn, repent when you fall short, and remember that good character begins with the people closest to you.

BEFORE YOU ASK HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE GUIDED, ASK YOURSELF HOW YOU TREAT THE PEOPLE ALLAH HAS PLACED IN YOUR CARE.

May Allah rectify our affairs, protect our mothers, sisters, wives, and children from oppression, guide men who mistreat their families to sincere repentance, and grant justice and healing to those who have suffered.

Āmīn, Yā Rabb al-ʿĀlamīn. 🤲🏽

A BROTHER CAN BE KNOWN FOR HIS KNOWLEDGE OF ISLĀM, YET FAIL MISERABLY IN HOW HE TREATS HIS OWN WIFE.

Let us speak about a painful reality.

Many women sincerely desire husbands who have an interest in the Deen men who practise Islam, attend Islamic gatherings, seek knowledge, and strive to live according to the Qur’ān and authentic Sunnah.

Some sisters even choose the Qur’ān as their mahr because of their love for the Deen, hoping to marry men who will help them grow closer to Allah.

Although the mahr should be mutually agreed upon, sisters should also remember that it is their right to request a reasonable financial mahr. If a man cannot afford to pay it immediately, they may agree to a suitable arrangement, including instalments.

But here is the painful part.

Some sisters who marry men they believe will represent Islam beautifully later find themselves deeply disappointed by how they are treated.

I have heard divorced sisters express their frustration in words such as:

“I will never marry a Tablighi brother again, no matter how rich he is.”

“I will never marry a Shaykh again.”

“I just want a simple Muslim man, not necessarily someone with extensive Islamic knowledge.”

These statements may come from painful personal experiences. However, we should not judge every individual by the actions of someone who hurt us. A person's religious group, title, reputation, or level of knowledge does not automatically reveal their character.

The real question is this: WHY DO SOME PEOPLE REPRESENT ISLĀM PUBLICLY BUT FAIL TO PRACTISE ITS BEAUTIFUL TEACHINGS IN THEIR OWN HOMES?

Why is it easy to be gentle with people outside the home but difficult to show kindness to one's own wife?

Why do some men encourage others, support their communities, empower strangers, and speak beautifully about mercy, while their wives experience neglect, humiliation, harshness, or emotional suffering?

Why do some men know the rights of a Muslim, yet seem to forget the rights of the woman who shares their home?

Do we ever stop to remember that Allah is watching how we treat our spouses?

☝️ Allah says:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

“And live with them in kindness.”

📖📚 Qur’ān 4:19📚📖

And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:☝️☝️☝️

“The best of you are those who are best to their wives.”

📖📚 Jāmiʿ at-Tirmidhī 1162📖📚

Dear brothers,

Islamic knowledge is not merely about delivering lectures, answering questions, leading prayers, teaching students, or gaining followers.

It must also influence how we behave when we return home.

It should teach us patience when we are angry, mercy when our wives are struggling, honesty when problems arise, fairness when disagreements occur, and humility when we make mistakes.

A man is not automatically a good husband because he is called a Shaykh, an Ustadh, a student of knowledge, or a religious leader.

His knowledge should help him understand his responsibilities, fear Allah in private, and fulfil the rights of those under his care.

And if a marriage genuinely cannot continue, Islam does not require spouses to remain together while inflicting harm upon one another. Separation should be handled with dignity, fairness, and the fulfilment of each person's rights—not revenge, humiliation, or oppression.

Allah says:☝️☝️

فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ

“Then either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment.”

📚📖 Qur’ān 2:229📚📖

I am reminded of the sisters who enter marriage hoping to grow in their Deen, only to find themselves enduring painful circumstances. Some may remain silent because they believe that being patient means tolerating every form of mistreatment.

But patience does not mean that oppression becomes acceptable. A woman's rights, dignity, safety, and well-being matter.

Marriage is not supposed to be a competition over who can endure the most suffering. It is a relationship in which spouses should strive to fulfil their responsibilities, show mercy, and help one another obey Allah.

A wife who chooses a husband because of his Deen should not discover that his religious reputation is beautiful in public but his treatment of her is painful in private.

And a husband should never use his knowledge, reputation, or religious authority to silence his wife or avoid accountability.

Dear brothers, if you have gained respect, influence, or followers through your association with Islam, let your character at home reflect the values you teach outside.

Let your wife experience your mercy.

Let your children learn good character from you.

Let your family see the patience, honesty, justice, and humility that Islamic knowledge should nurture.

You do not need to be famous to represent Islam well. Sometimes, the greatest evidence of your character is how you treat the people who live with you.

May Allah rectify our affairs, purify our intentions, improve our character, protect our marriages from oppression, and guide husbands and wives to fulfil one another's rights.

May Allah comfort every sister and brother suffering in a difficult marriage, grant relief to those being oppressed, and guide those who have wronged their spouses to sincere repentance and meaningful change.

May Allah make our knowledge a means of guidance, our homes places of mercy, and our marriages a source of tranquillity and blessing.

Āmīn, yā Rabb al-ʿĀlamīn. 🤲🏽

SUBḤĀNALLĀH! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR UMMAH?

Nowadays, when you try to advise a brother or sister in Islam, they take it as an insult and immediately respond, “Don't judge me!”

My dear brother, my dear sister, not every correction is an attack, and not every reminder is hatred.

Sometimes, the person advising you is not trying to embarrass you. They are not claiming to be perfect. They are simply reminding you of something that may benefit you in this life and the Hereafter.

When someone reminds you about your ṣalāh, you say, “Don't judge me.”

When someone reminds you about hijab and modesty, you say, “Worry about yourself.”

When someone reminds you to leave a sin, you say, “Only Allah can judge me.”

Yes, Allah is the ultimate Judge, and none of us is free from sin. But does that mean Muslims should stop reminding one another of what Allah has commanded?

☝️ Allah ﷻ says:

وَذَكِّرْ فَإِنَّ الذِّكْرَىٰ تَنفَعُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ

“And remind, for indeed, the reminder benefits the believers.”

📚📖 Qur'an 51:55📚📖

And the Prophet ﷺ said:☝️

الدِّينُ النَّصِيحَةُ

“The religion is sincere advice.”

📚📖 Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 55📚📖

Dear brother and sister, nobody is saying that the person advising you is sinless. The one giving advice also needs reminders, correction, and Allah's mercy.

But please understand the difference between judging someone's heart and reminding someone about an action.

We cannot claim to know another person's intention or final standing before Allah. However, when something clearly contradicts Islam, it can be appropriate to explain the ruling with evidence, wisdom, and good manners.

And to those who give advice: do not use religion to humiliate people, expose their private sins, insult them, or act as though you are better than them. Correct with knowledge, sincerity, patience, and mercy.

A sincere reminder should not be delivered with arrogance, and sincere advice should not automatically be rejected because it makes us uncomfortable.

Sometimes, the advice you dislike today may be the very reminder that helps you repent tomorrow.

Before responding with anger, pause and ask yourself:

“Is this person insulting me, or is there something I need to reflect upon?”

And if the advice is incorrect, respond with evidence and good character rather than insults.

May Allah ﷻ soften our hearts, protect us from arrogance, grant us the ability to accept the truth even when it is difficult, and make us among those who advise one another with sincerity and mercy.

May Allah guide the one giving the advice and the one receiving it.

Āmīn, Yā Rabb. 🤲🏽

MY DEAR SISTER,

WEARING HIJAB IS NOT AN ARAB TRADITION. IT IS A COMMAND FROM ALLAH.

Ya Ukhti, please understand that Islam does not belong to the Arabs alone. Allah is the Lord of the Arabs, Africans, Europeans, Asians, and every human being.

You do not have to be Arab to wear hijab. You do not have to speak Arabic to obey Allah. And you do not have to come from a Muslim country to practise your religion sincerely.

HIJAB IS NOT ABOUT CULTURE. IT IS ABOUT OBEDIENCE TO ALLAH.

☝️ Allah says in the Qur'an:

وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze, guard their chastity, and not reveal their adornment except that which ordinarily appears thereof…”

📚📖 Surah An-Nūr 24:31📚📖

☝️ Allah also says:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَاجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَاءِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلَابِيبِهِنَّ

“O Prophet, tell your wives, your daughters, and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves part of their outer garments…”

📖📚 Surah Al-Aḥzāb 33:59📖📚

Dear sister,

do not allow anyone to convince you that modesty is only for Arab women or that covering yourself means abandoning your African identity.

You can be Ghanaian, Nigerian, Somali, Algerian, Sudanese,Egyptian etc more or from any other nation and still wear hijab with dignity.

You can embrace your culture while obeying Allah, as long as your cultural practices do not contradict Islam.

YOUR NATIONALITY DOES NOT CANCEL YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO ALLAH.

And remember, dear sister, hijab is not a reason to look down on women who are still struggling. Advise with wisdom, speak with kindness, and remember that we all have shortcomings and need Allah's guidance.

Do not wear hijab merely to impress people. Wear it seeking the pleasure of Allah, and keep striving to improve your character, worship, and conduct.

Ya Ukhti, let your obedience to Allah be greater than your fear of people's opinions.

May Allah guide our sisters, strengthen those who wear hijab, guide those who are struggling, and grant us all sincerity and steadfastness upon the truth.

Āmīn, Yā Rabb. 🤲🏽