Single Parents

Hi welcome to myself

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Salamee

It's End Of The Month Of August ✨

I would say I’m somewhat of a successful step-parent despite being divorced because I don’t base the success of my parental sphere on the premise that the marital relationship must be there. I have a very active and healthy relationship with the young people I have been blessed to have gotten to know in a personal capacity. We often communicate and their mother often funnels them to me for guidance and advice.

An interesting contribution, what a lot of people don’t realise is that children don’t always gravitate to a position of familiarity and safety. Sometimes they need a healthy third space where they can just offload. So although everyone’s dynamic is different, in my journey I actually spoke to the children’s father over a dinner about them man-to-man. He realised very quickly there was no replacement agenda and I made the brother feel easy and proud that I was a carefully placed extension of his tarbiyah for his children, wrapped up in a different mindset.

I used to remind the children of who the rule maker was and who the enforcer was. Any issues I’d call him personally and we would speak.

South Asian men get very awkward, paranoid and territorial over exes and children and don’t realise as Muslims they don’t belong to him as the same manner they didn’t belong to me, they’re an Amaanah. I think the deen is there to break down barriers which don’t need to be there, Islam is a practical way of life, not an emotionally charged ritual. This is where past generations were able to grasp basic family support networks far better than the youth today.

More importantly this is about the general attitude of people saying those famous last words: “I don’t want to look or be raising after another man’s kid.” Brothers feel entitled to give directions with no direction of their own and when another man provides direction to your child, suddenly the positive input becomes a contest to see who has a greater sphere of influence over the woman and child. Hmm strange pathway to have developed in the great, squishy, grey beyond…

How do you find true love?

Is requiring your partner to share their live location 24/7 a healthy tool for safety and efficiency, or a net loss for individual autonomy?

hey ya

Salam and good morning to everyone anyone from Denmark

I don't know about y'all, but whenever I can, I take a quiet moment to myself before I go to work. It's so precious to me ✨

Have a great start of your week everybody 🖤