Converts / Reverts

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته, fellow reverts/converts!

Insha Allah, you are all doing well.

I am writing this to share some perspectives on how we can live the life we want as Muslims without burning bridges or alienating ourselves from other Muslims, whether they were born into Islam or converted/reverted.

I was recently talking to a potential spouse who is also a revert. Granted, he is newer to the deen, but I thought that, as someone who wasn’t born into the deen, he might be more likely to understand my journey.

During our conversations, he blocked me twice.

The first time was because he didn’t like that I asked him a simple question: What are the characteristics you are looking for in a spouse?

He eventually came back and admitted that he didn’t know why he had blocked me in the first place.

No big deal. We are human, and miscommunication happens. No harm, no foul.

The second time, we were talking, and I mentioned that I would finish my laundry, pray Isha, and get ready for bed.

That simple statement sent him into a frenzy. He accused me of delaying my prayers for something as silly as laundry and suggested that this was why things weren’t going my way.

For anyone who is new to Islam and might not know this, each obligatory prayer has an allotted time within which it can be performed. Yes, it is generally better to pray earlier rather than delay unnecessarily. However, praying later within the prescribed time does not automatically invalidate the prayer.

There are legitimate reasons why someone might need to delay praying for a little while, such as being somewhere unsafe or dealing with circumstances that prevent them from praying immediately.

Allah has not made this deen as difficult as we sometimes make it for ourselves and others.

Please don’t make religion unnecessarily difficult for yourself or for others.

Unfortunately, I personally know reverts who made unnecessary sacrifices in the name of Islam, such as changing perfectly fine names, abandoning their families, or moving to other countries. Some of them eventually grew to resent the deen, returned to their previous non-Muslim lifestyles, and left Islam altogether.

This is heartbreaking, because Islam should not be presented as a choice between embracing the deen and unnecessarily destroying every other part of your life.

Of course, there are situations where sacrifices are necessary, and every person’s circumstances are different. But we should be careful not to turn personal preferences, cultural expectations, or our own interpretations into religious obligations.

Islam is a religion of balance. Learn your deen, practise it with sincerity, and give yourself and others room to grow. Lead with knowledge, wisdom, and compassion rather than harshness and unnecessary judgment.

May Allah make the deen easy for us, increase us in beneficial knowledge, and keep our hearts firm upon Islam. Ameen.

Lowering the Gaze in Islam
In Islam, lowering the gaze is an important act of obedience to Allah. It means avoiding deliberately looking at what is forbidden, controlling one's eyes, and protecting the heart from temptation. It applies to both Muslim men and women.

1. What does the Quran say?
   Allah commands believing men and women to lower their gaze in Surah An-Nur.

Surah An-Nur, 24:30 — Men
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.”
Meaning of the verse

Surah An-Nur, 24:31 — Women
Allah also commands believing women to lower their gaze, guard their chastity, and observe modesty.

These verses show that modesty and self-control are responsibilities for both men and women.

2. What does lowering the gaze mean in practice?

• Avoiding lustful looks: Do not deliberately stare at someone with sexual desire.

• Looking away when necessary: If you unexpectedly see something inappropriate, turn your gaze away rather than continuing to look.

• Respecting others: Do not stare at women or men in a way that makes them uncomfortable or objectifies them.

• Controlling the heart: Work towards purity of intention, not merely outward appearances.

Lowering the gaze does not mean that a man can never look at a woman or speak to her. Normal, respectful interaction is permitted within Islamic guidelines

3. What if you accidentally look at someone?
   An accidental first glance is different from deliberately continuing to look.

Jarir ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he asked the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ about a sudden, unintentional glance, and the Prophet instructed him to turn his gaze away.

Source: Sahih Muslim, 2159

The practical lesson is that if your eyes happen to fall upon someone unexpectedly, you should look away rather than intentionally prolonging the glance. You should not become excessively anxious or feel guilty over every involuntary glance.

4. Lowering the gaze when looking for a spouse

Islam recognises marriage as a legitimate and important purpose. Lowering the gaze does not prevent you from looking for a suitable wife.

When considering a woman for marriage, a Muslim man may look at her within the recognised Islamic guidelines for the purpose of deciding whether to proceed with marriage. The Prophet ﷺ encouraged this because it can help establish affection and compatibility between prospective spouses.

Source: Jamiʿ at-Tirmidhi, 1087; Sunan Ibn Majah, 1865.

In practice, this means you can:

• View a prospective spouse's profile with a genuine intention of marriage

• Communicate respectfully to assess her religion, character and compatibility.

• Consider physical attraction without becoming preoccupied with appearance.

• Keep communication purposeful and within your Islamic boundaries.

The intention should be to find a suitable spouse, rather than to pursue flirtation or sexual gratification outside marriage.

5. What are the benefits of lowering the gaze?

• Purity of the heart
It helps a person avoid feeding inappropriate desires and becoming unnecessarily attached to people.

• Protection from temptation
It can help prevent situations that lead towards prohibited sexual behaviour.

• Respect and self-discipline
It encourages modesty, respect for others and greater control over one's actions.

• Seeking Allah's pleasure
Obeying Allah in private as well as in public is part of sincere faith and worship.

6. Is lowering the gaze only about the eyes?
   No. Although the command specifically concerns one's gaze, Islamic modesty also involves one's intentions, speech, behaviour and treatment of others.

The Prophet ﷺ taught that the eyes can commit their share of zina through looking, and that the heart may desire and wish for things. This is described in Sahih al-Bukhari 6243 and Sahih Muslim 2657, with wording varying by narration.

This does not mean that every accidental glance is a sin equivalent to unlawful sexual intercourse. Rather, the hadith warns against deliberately indulging in forbidden desires and taking steps towards sexual wrongdoing.

Lowering the gaze is about modesty, self-control, respect and obedience to Allah. It applies to everyday life and to the process of finding a spouse. Islam does not require a person to avoid all interaction with the opposite ***; it teaches Muslims to interact appropriately while maintaining their boundaries.

Allah says in Surah An-Nur 24:30 that lowering the gaze and guarding chastity is purer for believers.

May Allah help us maintain modesty, protect our hearts and guide us towards what is pleasing to Him. Ameen.

https://youtube.com/shorts/ssyWHdQ4cXw?si=ZGEi9YgIVtzJnJ7G

The struggle of Being a Revert is Real and Difficult

Today’s Du’a’s from Surah Al-Baqarah Juz 1:127-19

وَإِذْ يَرْفَعُ إِبْرَٰهِـۧمُ ٱلْقَوَاعِدَ مِنَ ٱلْبَيْتِ وَإِسْمَـٰعِيلُ رَبَّنَا تَقَبَّلْ مِنَّآ ۖ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ
ٱلسَّمِيعُ ٱلْعَلِيمُ ١٢٧

And ˹remember˺ when Abraham raised the foundation of the House with Ishmael, ˹both praying,˺ “Our Lord! Accept ˹this˺ from us. You are indeed the All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

رَبَّنَا وَٱجْعَلْنَا مُسْلِمَيْنِ لَكَ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِنَآ أُمَّةً مُّسْلِمَةً لَّكَ وَأَرِنَا مَنَاسِكَنَا وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَآ ۖ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلتَّوَّابُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ ١٢٨

Our Lord! Make us both ˹fully˺ submit to You and from our descendants a nation that will submit to You. Show us our rituals, and turn to us in grace. You are truly the Accepter of Repentance, Most Merciful.

رَبَّنَا وَٱبْعَثْ فِيهِمْ رَسُولًا مِّنْهُمْ يَتْلُوا۟ عَلَيْهِمْ ءَايَـٰتِكَ وَيُعَلِّمُهُمُ ٱلْكِتَـٰبَ وَٱلْحِكْمَةَ وَيُزَكِّيهِمْ ۚ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلْعَزِيزُ ٱلْحَكِيمُ ١٢٩

Our Lord! Raise from among them a messenger who will recite to them Your revelations, teach them the Book and wisdom, and purify them. Indeed, You ˹alone˺ are the Almighty, All-Wise.”

HEY, BROTHER! ⚠️

Before you play with a girl's feelings, remember your mother and your sister.

Before you make promises you never intend to keep, remember that she is someone's daughter.

Before you deceive her, use her emotions, lead her into a ḥarām relationship, or leave her heartbroken, fear Allah!

Ittaqullāh! Fear Allah! ❗

She is a human being with feelings, dignity, and a heart—not someone for you to use for temporary pleasure.

If you are not serious about marriage, don't pretend that you are.

If you know you cannot fulfil your promises, don't make them just to gain her trust.

And if you genuinely care about her, respect her boundaries and approach the matter through a halal path.

Remember: you are not only accountable for how you treat your mother and sister. You are accountable to Allah for how you treat other people's daughters, too.

A Muslim man should have taqwā, honesty, self-control, and respect—not just words about being a good man.

May Allah protect our sisters from deception, guide our brothers towards righteousness, and teach us all to treat one another with justice and mercy.

Ittaqullāh, brothers. Allah sees what we do, even when nobody else does. 🤲🏽

DEAR SISTERS, LET US TELL OURSELVES THE TRUTH.

Do you sometimes look at your fellow sister and wonder:

Sister, don't you have a friend who can advise you? 😔

A sister who can tell you:

• -“Please, don't wear that dress. It's too tight.”
• -“Sister, your body shape is clearly showing through your clothes.”
• -“Your hair, neck and shoulders are exposed.”
• -“Your clothes are transparent. Please, consider changing them.”
• -“Sister, that makeup is too much. Is this really how you want to present yourself in public?”
• -“Please, look at that picture again before posting it.”
• -“Sister, you might want to delete that picture or choose a more modest one.”
• -“Please, check your appearance in the mirror before leaving the house.”
• -“Sister, is your clothing actually covering you properly, or is it revealing more than you realise?”

These are conversations that sisters should be able to have with one another—with sincerity, wisdom and love.

Sometimes, honestly, you see certain outfits, makeup, and pictures, and you wonder whether the person has looked at herself carefully before going out or posting online.

You don't want to insult anyone. You don't want to embarrass anyone. You don't want to sound judgmental.

But you find yourself saying:

“Astaghfirullāh… SubḥānAllāh. May Allah guide us all.” 😔

Yes, Muslim men are commanded to lower their gaze. But we are human beings, and a person may notice something unintentionally before looking away.

That is why Islam teaches both men and women to observe modesty. Men must lower their gaze, and women must observe their own obligations of modesty. One person's responsibility does not cancel another person's responsibility.

Allah says:

قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze…”

Qur'an 24:30

And Allah says:

وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze…”

Qur'an 24:31

DEAR SISTERS, PLEASE UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.

Modesty is not about competing with other women. It is not about who looks the most attractive, who wears the most makeup, or who receives the most compliments.

It is about obedience to Allah, dignity, and ḥayāʾ.

Before leaving your home, take a moment to check your clothing.

Ask yourself:

• -Is my clothing sufficiently covering me?
• -Is it transparent?
• -Is it so tight that it clearly outlines my body?
• -Am I exposing what I am supposed to cover?
• -Am I dressing to please Allah, or am I becoming too concerned with people's attention?

And before posting a picture, think carefully about what you are sharing publicly.

And to the sisters who notice these things in their friends: advise them kindly. Don't insult them, shame them publicly, mock their appearance, or assume that you are better than them.

You may be the one giving advice today and the one who needs advice tomorrow.

We are all in need of Allah's guidance.

The reality is that we should help one another become better Muslims, not remain silent when a sincere, respectful reminder could help.

May Allah beautify our character, strengthen our ḥayāʾ, guide our choices, protect our hearts from arrogance, and make us sincere advisers who accept advice as well.

May Allah guide our sisters, our brothers, and all of us.

Āmīn. 🤲🏽❤️

Ibn 'Umar said (RA):
While praying, a man quietly said,
"Allahu Akbar kabira, wal-hamdu lillahi kathira, wa subhan-Allahi bukratan wa asila"
(Allah is the Greatest, abundant praise be to Him, and glory be to Him morning and evening).
"The Prophet (PBUH) replied:
"I was amazed by it, for the doors of heaven were opened for these words."
Reference: Sahih Muslim 601

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Tonight’s Dưa
Ya Allah, bless this night with peace, cover us with Your mercy, forgive our shortcomings, and protect everyone we love.
Let our hearts rest in Your remembrance and our morning begin with goodness, answered prayers, and countless reasons to say Alhamdulillah.
Ameen, Ya’Rabil’Alameen .

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