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Surah An-Nisā’ (4:19)
“O believers! It is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them harshly in order to take back part of what you have given them, unless they commit a clear immorality. Live with them in kindness. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.”
This verse addresses the treatment of wives, prohibiting coercion and injustice, and instructing husbands to live with their wives in kindness and fairness. It also reminds believers that something they dislike may contain much good and benefit ordained by God.
https://youtu.be/UqZ3QTYjDPE?feature=shared
The importance of Prayers in Islam
Dr Fahim
South Woodford Islamic Centre
Why do you think most of converted and reverted women from western countries end up alone and single most of the time unlike others ? Is it because they have higher standards or their circle is so small and they cannot find men ?🤔
Qur’anic teachings
Surah An-Nisa 4:19
“Live with them in kindness (maʿrūf).”
Surah Ar-Rum 30:21
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.”
Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187
“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.”
“The Prophet Muhammad said”
Hadiths
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”
He also said:
“Treat women well.”
In his Farewell Sermon, he instructed:
“Treat women kindly.”
The Prophet’s example
Islamic sources describe the Prophet as:
Consulting his wives on important matters.
Showing affection and gentleness toward them.
Helping with household tasks.
Condemning cruelty and harshness.
Surah An-Nisa (4:34) from the Qur’an is often translated as follows (Sahih International):
“Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear nushūz (serious marital discord or misconduct) — advise them;
then forsake them in bed; then strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is Most High and Grand.”
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives (or women), and I am the best of you to my wives.”
This hadith is recorded in collections including Jami’ at-Tirmidhi and Sunan Ibn Majah.
The statement is often cited to emphasize that, in Islamic ethics, a person’s character is measured not only by public behavior but also by how they treat family members, especially spouses. Muslim scholars frequently discuss this hadith alongside reports describing the Prophet’s kindness, patience, and respect toward his wives.
The most Misunderstood Quranic Verse : Surah An-Nisa (4:34) and refutation of those who claim islam allow men to abuse or beat their wives
Surah An-Nisa (4:34): Responsibility, Protection, and Conflict Resolution
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.
Clarification and Ethical Framework
This verse outlines the framework of responsibility, protection, and conflict resolution in a marriage,
not a free pass to abuse
Yet it is frequently quoted without context or understanding by non Muslim mostly Christian missionary
The Misuse of This Verse
Critics often rip this verse from its moral, spiritual, and social framework
to falsely claim that Islam promotes violence against women.
Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard.As to those women on whose part you fear nushūz (rebellion):
The Reality
In reality, the verse is part of a comprehensive ethical system that:
Reflects divine concern for justice and compassion within the family unit
Upholds women’s dignity
Outlines strict limits
What the Qur’an Teaches About Treating Women
a. Kindness and Honor:
Surah An-Nisa (4:19) — “Live with them honorably
This includes both verbal and physical companionship.
A husband must treat his wife kindly, with good companionship, refraining from harm, offering kindness, and dealing with her in a respectful manner.
This also includes providing:
Financial support
Clothing
And similar responsibilities
A husband is obligated to offer his wife the customary good treatment that someone like him would offer someone like her, according to the norms of their time and place — and this naturally varies based on individual circumstances.
Surah Ar-Rum (30:21) — “He created for you spouses… and made between you affection and mercy.”
He placed between you, through marriage and shared lineage, affection by which you show love to one another and maintain ties for its sake.
And ‘mercy’ — by which He granted you compassion for one another, inclining your hearts toward each other.
Indeed, in this are signs for people who reflect.
Allah Almighty says: In this action of His are lessons and reminders for those who ponder over His proofs and evidences — so they realize that He is the one true God, for whom nothing is impossible and who is never hindered in doing whatever He wills.
b. Justice and Reconciliation in Marital Conflict:
Surah An-Nisa (4:35): Mediation in Marital Conflict
Surah An-Nisa (4:35) advises that when conflict escalates, third-party mediation from both families should be sought before considering separation.
Two Cases of Marital Conflict
Allah (Exalted is He) first mentioned the initial case — when estrangement and rebellion (nushūz) come from the wife.
Then He mentioned the second case — when the estrangement comes from both spouses.
He said:
“And if you fear a breach between them, appoint a mediator from his family and a mediator from hers…”
[Surah An-Nisa 4:35]
Juristic Explanation
The jurists said:
If discord arises between the husband and wife, the judge should place them under observation near a trustworthy person, who monitors their situation and prevents the one at fault from committing wrongdoing.
If their conflict worsens and the dispute continues for a long time, the judge then appoints:
A trusted person from the woman’s side, and
A trusted person from the man’s family.
These two mediators should meet, assess the situation, and take whatever course of action is most beneficial — whether reconciliation or separation.
Emphasis on Reconciliation
The Shari‘ah leans toward reconciliation, which is why Allah said:
If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause harmony between them.
c. Wife Dignity and Rights:
Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187) – Wives as garments
“They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them.”
That each of the two has been made a ‘garment’ for the other, because each is a source of tranquility (sukūn) for the other — as the Exalted has said:
‘And He made the night for you as a garment’ [Surat Al-Furqan: 47], meaning by that: a time of rest in which you find calm.
Likewise, a man’s wife is his place of rest, to whom he turns for comfort, as Allah the Exalted said:
‘And He created from it its mate that he might find tranquility in her’ [Surat Al-A‘raf: 189].
So, each of them becomes a ‘garment’ for the other, in the sense that each finds peace and rest in the other.
This is also how Mujahid and others interpreted this verse.. (Tafsir At Tabari)
d. Equality in Value, Leadership in Responsibility:
Equality in Spiritual and Moral Value
Surat Al-Ahzab (33:35):
“Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women… Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward.”
Men and women are addressed equally in terms of faith, action, and reward.
When Allah, Exalted is He, mentioned the reward of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ, and their punishment [in the hypothetical case of non-compliance], and that no one else among women is like them,
He then turned to mention the rest of the women besides them.
And since the rulings for them and for men are the same,
He made the ruling shared between both, saying:
“Indeed, the Muslim men and the Muslim women…”
(Qur’an, Surah Al-Ahzab 33:35)
This refers to the outward acts of the religion,
provided they are upholding them properly. (Tafsir As Sadi)
Surah Al-Baqarah 2:228 — “And women have rights similar to those over them in kindness, but men have a degree over them [in responsibility].”
That is: Women have upon their husbands rights and obligations just as the husbands have upon them rights and obligations — both required and recommended.
The basis for the mutual rights between spouses returns to “al-maʿrūf” (what is reasonable and customary), which refers to:
the prevailing custom in that country and time,
based on what is appropriate for someone like her with someone like him.
Surah An-Nisa 4:34-35 Key Insights:
- -Marriage Roles: Men protect and support women.
- -To address disputes, a husband should first advise his wife if he senses noncompliance.
Avoid sharing the bed if that fails.
- -Last resort, gently punish her to avoid injury.
- -No additional action if she obeys.
- -Peaceful Conflict Resolution: Consider peaceful methods for marital disputes. If reconciliation is difficult, appoint arbitrators from both sides.
- -Kindness and non-resentment should accompany separation.
Applying An-Nisa 4:34-35 to Daily Life:
- -Respectful Relationships: Muslims should treat their spouses with kindness and avoid activities that could strain the relationship.
- -Peaceful Resolutions:Stressing peaceful and just marriage dispute resolution.
- -Avoiding Resentment: Even after separation, let go of bad feelings.
In essence, Surah An-Nisa 4:34-35 guides Muslims in marital harmony. Al-Quran Tagging Kits help you navigate these teachings and align your marriage with Quranic knowledge.
“Men are caretakers, protectors, and providers of women because Men have been instructed to maintain and support their women through spending on them from their finances”