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Share amusing anecdotes, bizarre facts, and hilarious jokes 🤪. Just one rule… keep it respectful ✨

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You guys complaining about muzz, arranged marriage is cooked. What am I supposed to ask these men lmaooo

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Icl my match making skills are impeccable, got two people talking and they’ve both decided to delete Jamaa and carry on talking!

Who wants to be next 😌👌

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Getting bored, but the plot might still surprise me.

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I have come to the conclusion that I am officially borderline insane 🥲.

My baby niece kept moving around more than normal, looking pretty stressed, although I know she wasn’t stressed. I ended up getting really worried and sad because I felt like she was stressed (I know she wasn’t) and the waterfall from my eyes started 🙃.

I can’t waittttt to be a mum one day Insha’Allah but I know I’m gonna be panicky as hell 😭😭😭

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Who uses chat gbt?
What do you use it for?
Can we see your recents page? 👀

Mine posted in the comments

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If for one single moment, you feel that your du'as won't be answered, hold your dinosaurs - not when I am alive, uh uh not happening. I am the delulu queen who will infect everyone with her energy cause this is huge 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have been humbled yet again by Allah's endless mercy for sinners like us. Allahu Akbar 🌻
Extremely longggg yap session loading but if you love happy endings you definitely are in for an adventure here 🌚

Yesterday, here in Thailand, I forgot my phone in a cab. I realised it within seconds and ran for my life 🤧, but the cab was gone along with any details that could help me get it back. I panicked to death and asked for help around, but nothing seemed to work. Everyone around me kept saying the same thing: "It's a different country. It's impossible to locate it"
As time passed, I grew tremendously impatient and anxious and the remarks of insensitive people around me "why are you crying like a baby for a phone" made it worse , My sadness took over me and I couldn't think straight.
I was not at all ready to part with something which is so precious to me. I had gifted myself one of the most expensive phones ever at a very young age working multiple part time jobs in the UK during my master's. On my hardest days, I look at it and remember how Allah has been preparing me, strengthening me, and carrying me through every struggle.
My heart ached terribly. I regretted my carelessness and wished I had never come here. But a voice inside me kept saying, "Allah will make it happen for you. Keep trying and keep praying."
So that is exactly what I did.
I don't think I stopped my dhikr for one single moment.
I comforted myself with a hadith about a woman who was relentlessly calling out to Allah because she lost her child and Allah is more merciful to his servants than a mother is to her child.
Subhan Allah
The next morning, my dad and I went to the police station. They initially said they couldn't help unless we had the cab's license plate number. My heart sank again, but we didn't give up. We spent hours going back and forth, trying to obtain CCTV footage, using translators, and requesting help from anyone who would listen(A shoutout to the generous locals , I cannot explain how helpful they are including the lovely gentleman who not only kept my phone safe , but charged it to100% as well).
There were so many moments throughout the day when this seemed impossible. Any reasonable person would have seen a dead end and given up. But that is exactly where Allah's glory shines so bright , it creates positive possibilities.
What seems insanely impossible to us, is nothing for our Creator. He says 'Be' and it is 🤍
I am writing this on the very same phone now 🥹🫶 Alhamdulillah

"Be grateful, and I will give you more."

I try my best to practice gratitude and seek forgiveness constantly. I feel so loved by Allah that I could give up the entire world and everything in it for His sake but never the blessing of submitting to my Lord. My heart is sooooo full and at peace after this beautiful miraculous happy ending.

Your du'as are answered even before you make them. And if the answer seems delayed, trust me: Allah is preparing something far greater than you can imagine. One day, He will shower you with so much goodness that you won't feel like lifting your head from sujood.

إِنَّا لِلَّٰهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ

Ya Muqallibal Qulub, thabbit qalbi 'ala deenik 🤲

PS : If you need help with being delusional in your du'as, you know who to contact 😎🌸

Have this toffee for reading it till the end🍬😛

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I trapped my thumb in an Uber door about six weeks ago. Without going into too much detail for those who are a bit squeamish, the nail is now coming off and looking pretty grim.

I went to A&E today and was given two options: they could yank it off using gas and air (which would apparently bleed quite a bit and leave it open to infection), or I could let it fall off naturally. I opted for the latter.

This is what they gave me to protect it from knocks and scrapes. I look like Frankenstein. 😂

I did ask if they had one in my own skin tone to make it a bit less conspicuous, but they didn’t. I think the NHS are racist…

(I’m kidding, obviously. 🙄)

#ridiculouslyexcessive

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People reveal their priorities through consistency, not promises.

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I want to be a real Muslim and I don’t know where to begin. I was born as a Sunni in Central Asia. I need to be connected to my roots again.

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