The 50+
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Advice from Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may God be pleased with him)
“A friend will not (literally) share your struggles, and a loved one cannot physically take away your pain, and a close one will not stay up the night on your behalf. So look after yourself, protect yourself, nurture yourself and don’t give life’s events more than what they are really worth. Know for certain that when you break no one will heal you except you, and when you are defeated no one will give you victory except your determination. Your ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility. Do not look for your self worth in the eyes of people; look for your worth from within your conscious. If your conscious is at peace then you will ascend high and if you truly know yourself then what is said about you won’t harm you.
Do not carry the worries of this life because this is for Allah. And do not carry the worries of sustenance because it is from Allah. And do not carry the anxiety for the future because it is in the Hands of Allah.
Carry one thing: how to please Allah. Because if you please Him, He pleases you, fulfils you and enriches you.
Do not weep from a life that made your heart weep. Just say, “Oh Allah compensate me with good in this life and the hereafter.”
Sadness departs with a Sajdah. Happiness comes with a sincere Du’a. Allah does not forget the good you do, nor does He forget the good you did to others and the pain you relieved them from. Nor will He forget the eye which was about to cry but you made it laugh.
Live your life with this principle: be good even if you don’t receive good, not because for other’s sake but because Allah loves those who do good.”
When Narcissistic Behaviour Becomes Exploitative in Relationships
Family members can be exploitive , envious secretly sabotage you , spread secret smear campaigns, turn family and friends against , abuse your family members , become smart don’t be fooled by the label , true connections are heart based in 2026 loyalty and trust, empathy are dying traits
- Exploitation of Time and Energy
In some relationships described as involving narcissistic traits, one person may consistently take more than they give. This can look like demanding attention, emotional support, or effort while not reciprocating in a balanced way. Over time, the other person may feel drained or used.
- Taking Advantage of Resources and Opportunities
Some patterns involve benefiting from another person’s money, connections, work, or opportunities. This may not always be direct theft, but can appear as repeated reliance on others’ resources without fair contribution or appreciation.
- Betrayal of Trust
A common reported pattern is broken trust—such as dishonesty, hidden behaviour, or shifting stories. This can create confusion and make it difficult to rely on consistency in the relationship.
- Emotional Drain and “Energy Extraction”
People often describe feeling emotionally exhausted after repeated interactions. This can come from constant conflict, manipulation, guilt dynamics, or being expected to regulate the other person’s emotions.
- Lack of Accountability
A key feature in many harmful relational patterns is avoiding responsibility. Instead of acknowledging impact, there may be blame-shifting, denial, or minimising the other person’s experience.
- Leaving the Other Person to Carry the Fallout
After conflict or breakdowns, the other person is often left dealing with emotional stress, financial strain, or social consequences while the harmful behaviour is not fully addressed or repaired.
- Why These Patterns Repeat
Without clear boundaries or sustained accountability, these dynamics can repeat over time. Temporary apologies or reconciliations may not lead to long-term change in behaviour.
- Important Balance
It’s also important not to assume every difficult relationship fits this pattern. Similar behaviours can come from immaturity, poor communication, stress, or emotional instability not only narcissistic traits.
At its core, this pattern describes an imbalanced relationship where one person consistently benefits while the other loses time, energy, trust, or stability, especially when there is no lasting change in behaviour.
I'm a woman in my 50s who worked hard 17 years to build my entire life and raise my sons without financial help from anyone.
<CUSTOM_BOLD>I'm independent, stubborn, high temper, straightforward, emotionally mature, and financially stable (Alhamdulillah)</CUSTOM_BOLD>. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay.
Some men like to say..
<CUSTOM_BOLD>"Arien always talks about money</CUSTOM_BOLD>."
<CUSTOM_BOLD>Yes, I do. "You call it talking about money. I call it understanding reality. Love is beautiful, but electricity, groceries, education and insurance still expect payment every month</CUSTOM_BOLD>."
I don't live in Dreamland. I live in reality, <CUSTOM_BOLD>where love doesn't pay the bills</CUSTOM_BOLD>. <CUSTOM_BOLD>I've experienced life when I had very little and when I had enough. And trust me, the difference is huge</CUSTOM_BOLD>.
I don't tolerate lies, games, or empty promises. Life has taught me to see through them quickly.
So please don't say, "Inbox me, I'm interested," or "Here's my number," if you haven't even taken the time to read my BIO properly.
<CUSTOM_BOLD>You can call me arrogant if you want because I prefer honest</CUSTOM_BOLD>.
I'm simply being clear about who I am.
No offense, Thank you.
I need advice right now pls.
I date 32 yo guy since Aug 2024. We met twice. He said jave fallen for me but his action the opposite. He ignore me every weekend & we greet each other not everyday. I just dont want to overthink. But im total confuse & lost about our relationship. Please share positive comment. Thank you.
Salaam, im new to this online thing just looking for my soulmate to rest my internal life him but please with due respest dont text or like me if you are not real.
Bismillah
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barahkatuh
Good morning
True love grows stronger with time when it is for the sake of Allah's. It emerges from trials softer, closer, and bound by kindness, mercy, and the choice to always wish the best for one another. 🕋
The Aroma That Feels Like Home
In a small kitchen filled with sizzling spices—cumin, cardamom, coriander, and chili—a pot of food slowly comes alive. The air carries warmth, memory, and comfort. Pakistani cuisine is not just food; it is an experience of patience, family, and depth of flavor built over time.
A Love Story in Simmering Spices
A young man once came home feeling empty, searching for meaning in people and approval. One evening, his mother cooked a simple Pakistani meal. As the aroma filled the room, something softened in him. The food wasn’t just rich in spice—it was rich in care, effort, and presence.
He realized love doesn’t always arrive loudly. Sometimes it simmers quietly, like food prepared with intention.
Turning Inward and Upward
As he ate, he reflected that even this comfort was a blessing beyond human effort alone. In Islamic reflection, he saw that provision itself is a sign of mercy from Allah—the One who provides every taste, every moment of ease, every breath.
“And eat of what Allah has provided for you.” (Qur’an 2:172)
He understood that gratitude transforms even a meal into remembrance.
From External Searching to Inner Peace
He also saw how he had been searching outside himself—through people, approval, and validation. But the meal reminded him that peace is not only received from others; it is also cultivated within. When the heart is grounded, even simple things become enough.
The Moral
True richness is not only in flavor or experience, but in awareness. When you appreciate what is given, seek balance in life, and remember your source of provision, you stop chasing emptiness outside yourself.
Even a plate of food becomes a lesson: fulfillment grows from gratitude, presence, and connection to what is greater than the self.
Assalamu Aleekum. I am a new . Ember I am looking for a serious Halal relationship is there the Special Lady for me ,