Mental health

How to deal with a tiring day ❤️‍🩹

Okayyy.. so this is a post about Self-love.

I’ve being going through some difficult stuff for a very long time.
Long story short, I always lost what I loved, things that are irreplaceable to me. (and no, it isn’t about a girl, ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ)
But, through that I found Allah, ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ. The best thing anyone could find right?
When I found Allah, I was still hurt, but I kept it between me and Allah, just as it is supposed to be.
All these years, I used to motivate any and everyone and gave them a lot of love that they needed, I’ve helped a lot of people in my life who still wish me very well in life.(ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ)
But in the process, I was also hurt by many. Even though I found Allah, I was still confused and also lost at the same time. I know Allah is guiding me. But when not having any clear picture and motivation to do much in life, i feel lost.
I keep asking Allah to guide me and help me find someone so that I could find even more motivation in my life because I’d be doing things for them.
So, tbh I love other people so much and give them so much, but I didn’t love myself or I still don’t.
I usually make fun of myself in the form of humour so that it pains less, so that it hurts less, before anyone else would make fun of me.

Recently, I’ve been fighting really tough battles,
My soul has been hurting a lot, and yet, I kept giving others, kept doing for others.
I’d be the one who is there for others, sacrificing my time, my money, my ego and even myself, because they needed me.
I reached burnout. I reached burnout recently because I got really sick( there were many who kept me in their prayers at that time, May Allah bless you abundantly for all your prayers, return it back to you with much more and grant you the highest of highest levels in Paradise and with the best of the best halal pleasures this dunya has to offer. Ameen)
idk, whether it was because I was/am sick, or because of the medication or what, but I just couldn’t control my emotions or what is happening to me right now.

All these years, I’ve been hoping to find someone, someone who’d love me unconditionally, because I know I’d do anything in the world for my person.
In the tradition muslim way, trying to keep things halal, I’ve been rejected over and over again. I know most of the times, it’s because of situations I can’t change in my life, somethings that Allah has tested me with that only I could handle maybe, Sometimes maybe because I wasn’t their type, Sometimes because I wasn’t financially there yet.
But yeah, all of this does hurt. How can it not?
Does a guy not deserve love just cause he isn’t financially there yet? Or he has issues that he didn’t choose for himself? Or because physically he isn’t fit?
Yes, Sometimes I rejected a few too!
But because I didn’t want to hurt them. I know I still did, but that wasn’t my intention. I would rather hurt them now than hurt them for their rest of their lives because I didn’t find them to be my person.
I was always honest and respectful and I don’t think anyone else could say otherwise

But that’s not the point, this is my test, and I shall get through it with the will and grace of Allah.
However, recently Allah placed an emotional intelligence therapist in my life, when I needed it the most(May Allah grant and bless that sister with hidayah and bless her with the best of the best in life, Ameen.)
She told me a few things that I needed to hear.
I told her, I wanted to feel loved and seen once in my life without asking for it. I wanted someone to understand me when I speak out my feelings.
She told me - you are Raed, nobody else is Raed. Nobody can love you the way you want them to, even if you ask them to, only you can do that for yourself.
I told her - but, I hate myself, how can I love myself?
She asked me - to show that empathetic side and loving side I show others to myself.
Something I don’t know how to do yet.
But I’m trying, I’ve already started. I’m already saying I’m the best, because I am ME.
I’m the sweetest and kindest person there is.
I’m someone who is super understanding.
I am the one who always lends an ear when someone needs it. Motivates people who are depressed or feeling very low.
I’m the one who throws his ego and says sorry to the person in front even if they’ve hurt me.
I’ll thank a person a countless times because they’ve helped me with something really small.
I’ll say sorry countless times if I make a joke or think I’ve offended someone.
I’m the one who will remember the one small thing someone has mentioned once and tries to get it for them without thinking twice.
I do something small, but I hope, something thoughtful to bring a smile to someone else’s face, like crack a lame joke, when they’re feeling low.
I’m always smiling to others and have been complimented as a cheerful person.
I’d make a beautiful dua for someone even if they hate me because I keep my boundaries.
I trust easily and I’ll be the one to give the person a benefit of doubt for a mistake and forgive them even if they haven’t asked it.
I’m always making people laugh, I’m always pushing them to their best potential. I’m always trying to reconcile a broken friendship or an argument between 2 people.
And ever since I’m earning, during Eid, I’m like the youngest amongst my cousins, but it’s me who always gives the ones younger to me, eidi. While everyone else forgets me, but yeah I understand, because I know their situation is hard, so it’s fine.
And I can keep going, but that’s not who I am.

Also, it isn’t that I haven’t tried loving myself. It’s just every time I try focusing on becoming a bit better and focusing on loving myself, some or the other thing happens in my life and I go back to square one, which makes it really difficult.
Allah keeps testing me over and over again.
And I know, he tests the ones he loves the most, so I should be happy that my reward is with him, but it hurts too.
Yes it hurts, and the therapist said, it’s alright that it hurts. It hurts because you are human.
However, one thing she asked me to do was… not to help others for a while.
But that isn’t me then.
I cannot not give this love Allah has stored in me, because I am hurting.
Yes, I may have to take out the hurt in other ways.
But I cannot not be me. 🤓
So I shall continue being the funny, loving goof-ball that I am, I shall love myself and all of you? I know you all already love me. How can you not? 😏

Sorry but not sorry for the long post.
Yes, you should be grateful you are born in the same time period as me, a living legend. 😂
From next time I’ll start being the ragebaiter/menace/troll that I am on here once again.

However, if any of you are struggling, you can reach out to me, or reach out to anyone you trust. You shouldn’t fight something like this alone. We are all humans and we all need help sometimes. Sometimes all we need is just one push to bounce back to becoming what Allah wants us to become, i.e, The best versions of ourselves. And while we try to reach that version, there will be ups and downs. So please reach out to someone in your lows or in your downs, because I know it hurts, very very much.

If you’ve reached here, Thank you for coming to my TED talk. 🤓

Not every person you lose is a loss, some are lessons.

AS SALAMU ALAYCOM the mind is a fragile thing ... I been working on it for the last year and Im still in a state of hypervigillance.. is it true or the mind still experiencing ptsd...... or is it that I wanna do evil for evil..... I don't think this feeling is uncertainty I think it's evil trying to manifest .. I can see all the characteristics of the enemy ......what to do????

I really need some advice and support

I’ve been struggling with depression lately, and honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, and like I’m slowly losing myself. I’ve been keeping so much inside, and it’s becoming harder to cope with everything.

Things got to a point where I even tried to harm myself. I’m not proud of it, and I’m scared by how badly I’ve been feeling. I don’t want to continue going down this path, but right now I genuinely don’t know how to get myself out of it.

I’m sharing this because I really need advice from people who understand what depression can feel like. How did you cope when you reached a point where you felt like you couldn’t go on? What helped you take the first steps toward getting better?

Please be kind. I’m not looking for judgment—I just need someone to listen and maybe help me see a way forward.

It's okay to feel down at times
You'll SWING RIGHT BACK... 🪽

Feeling extremely low in my interactions with men on these apps these days. Its just sad. But hey maybe Allah did not write someone for me. Maybe I was meant to be alone.

Am i living the life I had hoped/dreamed about... no

Am i living a better life than my worst fears... yes

alhumdillah 🤲

Remember there is no such thing as perfect

Lesson learnt

" Treat mistakes as information, not evidence of character ". ✨️
_ AI quote _

May Allah SWT grant healing to anyone tested in their mental health and take us back to Him in the best of health and eman ameen 🌿

💙 الحمدلله
Astaghfiru'Allah 🤍 📿

# growth mindset
# Dua
# One Ummah ☪️

How many of women are aware of the Lindsay Clancy trail- a mom who killed her 3 children due to post partum depression- lot of feminists are asking to let her free.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DctEd4DxdS9/?igsi=bms5MTBobmtmbG14