All things marriage

Heey

Salam !
Ismail here
New to this plat...

Hi everyone
It seems like no one here is serious Whoever I liked and sent a request to none of them accepted it.

The situation in India is so bad right now that no one wants to live here. Yesterday, there was a protest in Delhi where students were demonstrating, and the police lathi-charged them. Shame on India and the Delhi Police. 💔

What the helly... I just got back on the marriage side and tell me why they give us 30 likes. I can't even find ONE 👆🏻 man that I find interesting.

I remember having to deactivate for 3 years after seeing the 90 likes because it was too overwhelming and I realized people like to doomscroll swipe 😭😭. Why aren't y'all reading bios

Assalamu Alaikum.

This might be my hyperactive mind lately. But, to me it seems, for my brothers, if a lady initiates a contact first, there is a slightly better chance of it leading to a conversation.

And I’m not surprised. Hazrat Khadija RA approached our beloved Prophet. So I find it beautiful.

The real success though, depends on Allah SWT. Right now, it seems it’s really hard for us men worldwide to umm connect with someone in the most literal sense. There are so much expectations from both sides, and the severity of the gap of expectations is what we should be concerned about.

But I do think practicing qualities in the meanwhile is important. Not because we want to get married but because Allah SWT likes it, and in the process we become a better persons and consequently better prospects. That includes sabr, kindness, patience especially with someone who we do not agree immediately. I’ll admit is very very hard to consistently practice qualities. But if you can, I think it’s worth it.

I won’t get into the cultural expectations. Money does matter to certain extent. But only if there is an overall parity. I think a gap of parity in attributes between prospects can often be dangerous. I might be wrong. But it’s generally easier to have a conversation if both the approacher and approached are closer in terms of mindset, education, where they are in life in general, and parity of faith and qualities.

Personally, I am working on my redflags. (It’s really hard!). I mean I can match with a thousand people, or the perfect person I’ve always longed for. But none of it may lead anywhere if I can’t grow out of my red flags. I’m still trying. And there are limits to how much we can improve within a limited time. But I still think worth pursuing.

Also, I don’t think sisters are always looking for, as the cliche goes, money and status. Although it seems the dominant behavior in cultures around the world, I think at the end of the day, they, like us, want to be heard, understood and be cared for in their language.

So what’s missing? The economy is undergoing a massive crisis. Everyone is looking for a safe house. So it’s evident that this affects each of us and unsurprisingly reflects in most profile I come across.

But I don’t think it’s always our fault. It’s just how the world has become. It’s natural to feel angry about it. But that anger will only make us miserable.

Perhaps a better decision is to accept that it’s not our fault all the time, and forgive ourselves. And have sabr and quietly keep looking, but also preparing ourselves for the better. Because we never know when the person who is meant for us will be knocking at our door. So we should be prepared to welcome them into our lives when they do.

So what I’m saying is, don’t lose hope. If not here, maybe somewhere else. If not in this life, then maybe Allah SWT has much much better for you in the hereafter.

—

JazakAllahu Khairan for reading (I recently learnt that this is a better expression than JazakAllah Khairan).

Indeed our lord is the most loving and most merciful. So you are in good care.

Where should I go when there’s nowhere to go?

New in this app , looking for a woman for clear love ❤️

Looking for a foreign wife