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The 30s

1,030,494 members

Navigating life in your 30s? Come connect and grow with others on the same path, from careers to relationships to identity 💬

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Anonymous

29 days ago

Is there anyone who the successful matched couple and get married?????
I think so people are just satisfying there own lust....

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Eman

@Eman95673464

29 days ago

Ok..another constructive feedback for the guys..asking a woman in the very early talking stage about her past relationships doesn’t make you look any good. I personally don’t proceed with talking to any man who does. I am not saying it’s wrong to ask about her past, I’m just concerned about the timing. The question is usually after hello and how are you and how old are you, then ارتبطتي قبل كدة؟ ..whatever happened to what’s your favorite color or how do take your coffee 😅😅

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Dee

@Dee-90

29 days ago

Aging is weird:

On paper, I’m in my 30’s
At the gym I’m 25
With my bestie I’m 18
At concerts I’m 21
After 8pm I’m 70
After 9pm I’m 85
After a bad sleep, I’m 95

But in my head I’m still 25 🩵

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Tharra

@thepanda_jee

29 days ago

One thing I’ve started to appreciate more in my 30s is simply having time to sit with my parents. 🥲🤍

It feels ordinary when we still have it.

But one day, many of us will get married, move out, build our own homes, raise children, and carry new responsibilities. Our duty and love toward our parents will remain, but the amount of time we can casually spend with them may become much smaller.

And even before marriage, so many of us already fill our days with work, friends, relationships, organizations, travel, entertainment, and endless distractions.

Then suddenly years pass.

I think we sometimes forget that our time as children is limited too.

There will not always be another evening to sit beside them.
Another meal together.
Another random conversation.
Another chance to help them with something small.

So if Allah ﷻ still gives us the opportunity to have our parents around, perhaps one of the greatest blessings is simply to be present while we still can.

Spend time with them.
Listen to their stories.
Take care of them.
Make them feel that they are not being left behind while we are busy building our own lives.

Because one day, we may have more money, more responsibilities, more achievements…

but less time with the people who were there before all of it. 🥲🤍

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Bilal Gulzar

@bilalgulzar007

29 days ago

What is the main purpose of joining a Jamaa on Muzz, and how does it function differently from standard individual matching?

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Tunji

@TBanks

29 days ago

If you met your potential spouse online, do you have to tell everyone—or can some parts of your story remain private?

Meeting someone online is no longer unusual. But for some families, it can immediately raise concerns.

And some of those concerns are understandable. People have experienced catfishing, romance scams, financial exploitation, manipulation, harassment and other forms of abuse through online relationships. As a result, some relatives may become suspicious simply because a potential spouse was met online.

But we should be careful not to let bad experiences with some online relationships become a judgment of everyone who meets someone online.

Where two people met does not, by itself, determine who they are.

Someone can meet an excellent spouse online. Someone can also meet an unsuitable person online. The same can happen through family introductions, friends, work, school or the community.

So the more important questions are:

Who is this person? What are their intentions? What have you verified? How have they conducted themselves?

For a Muslim seeking marriage, responsible courtship can include:

  • -Verifying identity and important personal information.
  • -Keeping the intention focused on marriage.
  • -Maintaining appropriate boundaries before nikkah.
  • -Involving a wali, family member, or trusted person when appropriate.
  • -Discussing deen, character, finances, family, children and expectations honestly.
  • -Taking warning signs seriously rather than explaining them away because of emotional attachment.

Don't let privacy override safety

If you meet someone online and the relationship becomes serious, don't rely solely on what they tell you or what their profile shows you.

Before becoming deeply emotionally or financially invested:

  • -Have appropriate video conversations and verify that the person is who they claim to be.
  • -Where possible, confirm important information through reliable, independent sources.
  • -Meet in a safe, public setting and let trusted people know where you are.
  • -Don't send money, gifts, account details, passwords or sensitive documents because of emotional pressure.
  • -Be cautious if someone constantly avoids meeting, refuses reasonable verification, asks you to keep the relationship secret, creates urgency, or has a story that repeatedly doesn't add up.
  • -If something feels seriously wrong, pause the relationship and seek advice from someone trustworthy.

Safety is not a lack of trust. Verification is not an accusation.

Then comes the question of privacy.

You don't necessarily owe every relative the complete history of how you met.

If revealing that the relationship began online is likely to trigger immediate assumptions before the person has even been properly known, a couple may reasonably choose to keep that detail private while the relationship is still developing.

But Islamic accountability places limits on that privacy.

Privacy should not become deception.

It should not involve inventing a false story, concealing a previous marriage, hiding an important personal circumstance, misleading someone about your identity, or withholding information that is materially relevant to their decision to marry.

There is a difference between saying:

“We met online, but we'd rather keep the details of our early conversations private.”

and creating a completely false account of how the relationship began.

There is also a difference between protecting a developing courtship from unnecessary family judgment and deliberately preventing appropriate people from carrying out reasonable checks.

The principle should be:

Protect legitimate privacy. Maintain honesty. Verify what matters. Stay safe. Involve the right people at the right time.

And if the relationship becomes serious, the focus should move beyond how you met to whether the person is actually suitable for marriage.

Because an online beginning is not the problem by itself.

The real question is whether the relationship is being built upon truthfulness, appropriate Islamic boundaries, sound judgment, deen, character, mawaddah and rahmah.

Would you tell your family exactly where you met your potential spouse online, or would you keep that detail private until the relationship became more established?

Where should we draw the line between protecting a courtship from premature judgment and being accountable to family and Islamic principles?

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