Psychology & Neurodiversity

Love isn't about completing each other. It's about witnessing each other.
We grow up believing love means finding someone who fills our gaps, fixes our loneliness, makes us whole. But that puts an unfair weight on another person asking them to be the missing piece of a puzzle only we can solve.
The truth is gentler than that, and maybe more beautiful too.
Real love isn't two half-people merging into one. It's two whole people choosing to walk together anyway through boredom, through bad days, through the versions of each other that aren't photogenic or easy. It's showing up for someone not because you need them to survive, but because their presence makes life feel a little more worth living.
To love someone well, you first have to know yourself that your wounds, your patterns, the things you're still healing from. Not because you need to be "perfect" before you deserve love, but because self-awareness lets you love from a place of choice, not desperation. You stop asking "will they leave me" and start asking "how can I show up for them today."
And here's the part that often gets missed: real love makes room for imperfection. It doesn't demand a flawless partner or a flawless version of yourself. It says I see your mess, I see mine too, and I still want to build something here. That's not weakness. That's courage.
Maybe love was never meant to rescue us. Maybe it was just meant to remind us we don't have to carry everything alone.

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/17qrJNK9Mh/

"People don't always change,they become comfortable showing who they really are."

Day 6 on Jamaa~

Last night, I had a dream that brought back old painful memories from my childhood. When I woke up, I realized those feelings were still deeply buried inside me. As I started writing about it, I cried, and my chest felt tight. It made me wonder if my heart is finally beginning to process wounds that I have carried for many years.

In the dream, I was being neglected by the people around me. It made me realize that this may be one of the reasons why I rarely ask anyone for help, even during the hardest moments of my life.

What does it mean when you dream about old trauma and unresolved childhood pain? Can dreams be a way for our minds to process emotions that we’ve buried for a long time?

After that, I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, my heart felt lighter, as if I had finally set down one of the burdens I had been carrying for so long.

Decolonize mental health and therapy, a series (3).

Let's look at an excerpt from Walter Rodney's book, How Europe Underdevelopped Africa (1972), where he explains how the trauma of racist domination led many Africans to adopt the colonizer's worldview:

"An even bigger problem is that the people of Africa...have gone through a cultural and psychological crisis and have accepted, at least partially, the European version of things. That means that the African himself has doubts about his capacity to transform and develop his natural environment..."

Decolonize mental health and therapy, a series (2).

Let's look at an excerpt from Edward Said's book, Reflections on Exile (2000):

"Exile is...the unhealable rift forced between a human being and a native place, between the self and its true home: its essential sadness can never be surmounted."

Decolonize mental health and therapy, a series.

Let's look at some excerpts from Frantz Fanon's book, The Wretched of the Earth (1961):

"The truth is that colonization, in its very essence, already appeared to be a great purveyor of psychiatric hospitals."

"....colonialism is not satisfied merely with holding a people in its grip and emptying the native's brain of all form and content. By a kind of perverted logic, it turns to the past of the oppressed people, and distorts, disfigured and destroys it."

"Imperialism leaves behind germs of rot which we must clinically detect and remove from our land and from our minds as well."

Human beings are social beings. Food, water, shelter, these are all needs that you don't need anyone for. But love, companionship is something only another person can give it to us.

For the women these days due to internet their DM is full of men, women work and have jobs and earn their own money(many times more than men), women don't need protection from men as they have police, so essentially women don't need any man. Most women are looking for THE man in their lives. So this creates imbalance in gender. Women don't need men but men still need women.

We live in a unique society that no other generation experienced before us, rapid technology, feminism/liberalism, fiat currencies, nation states. These 4 never existed together before in human history. If these 4 were present in any generation of the past men and women would have behaved same as now or even worse. I've seen even boomers being obsessed with internet and social media.

I am all for equality but equality can't be one sided correct?
Male bashing is accepted and encouraged but to put standards over women's behavior I don't understand why its considered anti women.

Although I agree that the path of self development starts with yourself. But every now and then men get the feeling of lost purpose due to all this. Its natural. This is why boys are falling behind in schools and colleges. Something went very wrong by mixing separate gender spaces. This is unique in history.

Disappear for six months and fix yourself. No one is coming to save you

( Don't tell me that I'm WRONG) WELL ACTUALLY DO CALL ME OUT y'all cuz sometimes I don't realize until you give it to be straight 🫪🫶. HEY Y'ALL todays topic is being independent or dependent. Disclaimer (I woke up with VICTIM MENTALITY TODAY 🤪 SO IT MIGHT SOUND ONE SIDED)

I think when someone is dependent on somebody, it's not necessarily their own choice.(SURE IT COULD BE ON SOME CASES, but in general I feel like it's not up to themselves 🥺🫶. Our parents literally raise us from sperm and the egg 🥚 🤣 without them how will we be where we are rn? So at the beginning, it started with dependency. Same thing applies to being independent, SOMETIMES one has to become independent because their life shifts them to be. Example: wow you're so mature for your age😭(AM I MATURE OR AM I TRAUMATIZED SO I UPDATED/UPGRADED 💪🙄 ) If you follow me you already know it's gonna be personal story time 😜. So here's what happened ~

I was driving on the road 🛣️ waiting for the traffic 🚦 light to turn green 🍏 so I can make a left turn. All of a sudden, BOOM. SOME DUDE HIT MY CAR FROM THE BACK 🚨 🚗🚨 The first thing I did was to call my big brother (one and only🫰) cuz I treat him like my 911. I was asking him what to do, cuz i have never been in a car accident before. By the time I hung up the phone the light turned green and the person that HIT ME basically HIT AND RAN 😡. Now I'm just a girl, ain't no way I was gonna follow him 😝😂 I could have but honestly I'm not the best driver and I have anxiety so I didn't bother. ANYWAYS-

FOR CONTEXT I'm 25 years old 🫣 GROWN ADULT BTW. (WHY AM I SO DEPENDENT!? 🥲) Well my reasoning is the fact that my family is overprotective and I grew up very sheltered. Can I break ⛓️‍💥 the chain and be independent? Sure. But is it gonna be a piece of cake 🍰? I'm afraid not.

So what am I trying to say? Well, until you change your mindset of who you are, what you are capable of, what you can accomplish.. everything will stay the same. Because one thing I learned recently is you are what you believe 😅 . Now do what you will with that information, TOODOOLES 😘

Also if you see lines crossing out my words, muzz hates me . ..