Poetry

My only wish was that someone would love me
But if I had been loved Faris who would have spoken of this pain of the heart?

I longed for a companion someone I could call my own
But then who would have endured these wild sorrows and these lonely nights?

Had I reached my destination the joy of the journey would have been lost
Then who would have kept vigil through these sleepless nights of separation from you?

The people of this world all sing songs of happiness
But who would have mourned the sorrow of your grief?

Had the city of love been inhabited where would these verses have come from?
Who would have described these desolate places and this ruined city within my heart?

It is pain that has gifted me this art of poetry Faris
Had I too been smiling who then would have sung these cries of anguish?

   Faris Ahmed

I loved you like the moon loves night
Knowing dawn would steal its light
I held your name beneath my skin
A war I knew I’d never win

I gave you pieces of my soul
While losing mine to make you whole
You were the fire I was the rain
I kept returning to the pain

Now every road feels worn and long
My heart still waits where you belong
The stars look tired
The skies look grey
Even the sun has lost its way

I smile like nothing ever broke
I laugh beneath a cloud of smoke
But every breath feels borrowed time
Every heartbeat misses rhyme

Perhaps we are just passing through
Like falling leaves the autumn knew
We call it love
We call it fate
Perhaps we are only learning to wait

I wonder if the soul gets tired
Of chasing what it once desired
Can even oceans learn to dry
Can broken wings forget the sky

I am tired of being strong alone
Of building homes from broken stone
Tired of pretending I do not care
While carrying ghosts that are not there

And if you ever think of me
Remember what I tried to be
A man who loved beyond his pride
Then slowly disappeared inside

I do not resent the love we knew
I only mourn what it withdrew
Some people leave yet somehow stay
They haunt the heart in every way

So let me fade beneath the rain
Not from despair but from the strain
For sometimes healing is not light
It is simply surviving through the night

And maybe someday I will understand
Why love can slip right through your hands
Why hearts can break yet still endure
And why the deepest wounds feel so pure

Until that day I will walk alone
With tired eyes and a heart of stone
Not because I have forgotten you
But because I finally have to choose

Between the ghost of what we were
And the life that still remains to stir
Between the ashes and the flame
Between my healing and your name

Perhaps love was never meant to stay
Perhaps some souls just pass away
They enter softly
They leave with rain
And teach us how to love through pain

  Faris Ahmed

I ended another talking stage today, during this time of great world wide fitna.

To make such deep connections from a world apart ….
Without a way to fulfill the purpose for which we have been designed for one another ….
This is very troubling to me how we may someday be judged …..

I’m limited. I have limits.
Allah has caged me.
Only my heart may go beyond this cage.

And when I send my heart out to you, I worry that I may be judged for having lured your heart away from its cage.

Because only hearts are free
And everything else has limits.

In the late hours of the night, the moonlight was so enchanting
that it was slowly drawing me into its spell.
Suddenly, something came to mind.

A hope that was still awake began to suffocate,
and I realized that the glow of the moon
which was constantly pulling me toward it
was not even the moon’s own beauty.

And as I watched the helplessness of that moon,
that same hope also took its last breath.
Even though it had held me in its magic,
it was left wandering like an unfulfilled wish...

Written by
TAABI 🥀

I loved you quietly,
you left me silently.

You were never mine,
yet losing you still hurt.

Some loves are meant to be felt,
not returned.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=74_s3BclA5E

I know I should leave, but it’s just so hard
Even though our love often leaves me scarred
I know it would be best for me, if we were apart
So why does the mere thought of it hurt my heart
Why am I so weak, no self respect, so meek
Not very cutesy, not really demure
For my kind of sickness there is no cure
I know I should leave
If not for anything, at least then for her
I don’t want her to see me flinch whenever things stir
She doesn’t deserve growing up in that kind of home
Where tears are always flowing when we’re alone
She doesn’t deserve to be worried about mom
While he’s walking around ticking like a bomb
See I know I should leave
I just don’t know how
Cause I said I do, I made a vow
Yes I know I have to leave
Cause things will never change, the storm will never be mild
But what am I supposed to do, when I’m carrying his child
I know I have to leave
I know
I know
It’s just that, I don’t want him to go
I smile through the tears, yeah I’m the big clown
But only cause I’m scared of how he’ll react to my frown
I know it would be best to leave
Wallah I do
But then why does it feel like I can’t make it through
I know I have to leave
For her sake alone
And for my own
I know
I have to
It’s just that I can’t
.
.
.
.
But I did.
ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ
Tomorrow it will be two years since I wrote this.

All day, I haven’t stepped outside,
It’s raining.

Your negligence, like an archer,
Throws an arrow into my heart -
And leaves it shattered into pieces.

At night, the nightingale cries,
And sings a song for you.

Why does it feel like every mirror is telling me lies now?.
Like as if everywhere has no hope.

Feels like my memories are betraying me even though I know it's not meant to be with you.

The mirror is showing me all the dreams of your future you breathed in my ears.

Sometimes loneliness calls me to you.
What to tell my heart?
How to win against my heart?

Looks like when the heart moves towards someone, when the eyes move a declaration, but the words on the tongue will halt.

At the end of the day, my dignity is more precious than my temporary beloved.

I’m healing from things I never got an apology