Muslims in Kolkata

Any Bengali in Bengaluru

Any Benaglies in Bengaluru here.

I like a boy who lives in Kolkata... But uh there are some complications.. for example, he doesn't know I exist LOL 😅

Gulfan Qureshi

Assalamualaikum I’m here to find a life partner, but I’m not sure who might come across my post. 💌

Assalamu Alaikum,

My father is currently admitted to the hospital following a brain stroke. Unfortunately, his condition is not good, and our family is going through a very difficult time.

I humbly request everyone to please remember my father in your duas. May Allah SWT grant him complete Shifa, ease his suffering, protect him from further complications, and bless him with a speedy recovery.

اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّ النَّاسِ، أَذْهِبِ الْبَأْسَ، اشْفِ أَنْتَ الشَّافِي، لَا شِفَاءَ إِلَّا شِفَاؤُكَ، شِفَاءً لَا يُغَادِرُ سَقَمًا

May Allah accept all your duas and grant my father complete recovery.

Please keep him in your sincere duas.

Jazakumullahu Khairan. 🤲🏻

Hi

I need someone special in my life whose presence will light the lamp of peace in my lonely heart. ❤️
Someone who will understand even the language of my silence, who will feel the hidden pain in my heart even when I say nothing. Someone who will care for me selflessly and hold my hand firmly through every moment of life—through the good and the bad, the laughter and the tears. Someone with whom I will feel loved, valued, and truly understood.
Someone with whom I can fearlessly share my joys, sorrows, dreams, and fears; someone who will not push me away or consider me incomplete during my broken moments. I don’t need someone perfect—I just want a genuine person who will care for me wholeheartedly, respect my feelings, and whose love will never make me feel alone, neglected, or abandoned. 🥹❤️

Assalamualikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

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Thank you

One of the unfortunate realities of Muslim marriages today is the growing list of expectations and demands placed on the groom and his family by the bride’s side.

The boy must have a handsome salary, a well-established career, a house of his own, a good-looking personality, a respectable family background, and the financial capacity to fulfil every expectation. In some cases, even these things are not enough. The demands keep increasing, and the definition of a suitable groom keeps changing.

But have we ever stopped to think about the consequences of these unrealistic expectations?

A young man who earns honestly, possesses good character, fulfils his religious obligations, and is willing to take responsibility for his family may still be rejected simply because his salary is not high enough or he does not own a house yet.

Meanwhile, the same young man watches years pass by. His responsibilities increase, his parents grow older, and the pressure to get married becomes more difficult to bear.

And then we wonder why so many Muslim men and women remain unmarried well into their thirties.

Let us be clear: a girl has every right to choose her life partner according to her preferences, and her family has every right to consider her security and future. There is nothing wrong with expecting a responsible, financially capable, and compatible husband.

The problem begins when reasonable expectations turn into unrealistic demands, when financial status becomes more important than character, and when a man's present circumstances are judged without considering his potential, sincerity, and willingness to build a future together.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, not a financial competition.

A man should not have to prove that he is wealthy enough to purchase acceptance into a family. Nor should a woman be expected to sacrifice her genuine needs in the name of simplicity. Both sides deserve respect, and both sides must approach marriage with fairness.

But what are the consequences of excessive demands?

1. Unnecessary delays in marriage

When families keep rejecting suitable proposals in the hope of finding someone wealthier, more successful, or more impressive, marriage gets postponed year after year. Sometimes, the search for a better option prevents people from recognising a genuinely good one.

2. Increasing pressure on young men

Young men begin to believe that they are not worthy of marriage unless they earn a certain amount, own property, or achieve a particular social status. Instead of being encouraged to build a responsible life, they are made to feel inadequate for not having achieved everything at a young age.

3. Emotional distress and declining self-confidence

Repeated rejection based on financial circumstances can deeply affect a person's confidence. A sincere man may begin to question his own worth, even when his character, intentions, and sense of responsibility are perfectly respectable.

4. Unnecessary financial pressure

Some men feel compelled to take loans, accumulate debt, or make promises beyond their means just to meet expectations and secure a marriage. Beginning married life under financial strain benefits neither spouse.

5. The neglect of character and compatibility

When salary, property, appearance, and social standing dominate the selection process, qualities such as honesty, emotional maturity, religious commitment, kindness, and mutual understanding can become secondary.

Yet these are precisely the qualities that often matter most in sustaining a marriage.

6. The burden on parents and families

Parents of young men may spend years worrying about their sons' marriages, while young men struggle to meet expectations that keep shifting. Families that should be helping one another establish stable households can end up treating marriage like a transaction.

An important question for the bride's side

If a man has good character, earns honestly, is willing to take responsibility, respects women, and has a realistic plan for his future, must he already be financially established in every possible way before he deserves consideration?

Must a man own a house before marriage, even when he can responsibly provide suitable accommodation through other means?

Must his current salary determine his entire future, even when he is hardworking and capable of progress?

And if every family insists on a groom who is already wealthy, who will be willing to build a life with the young men who are still working towards financial stability?

Not every man is born into wealth. Some men are trying to create it through years of honest effort. A fair assessment should consider their present circumstances, responsibilities, character, and realistic prospects—not just their bank balance.

Let us also remember the Islamic perspective.

Islam encourages ease in marriage and places great importance on religious commitment and good character. Financial responsibility matters, but extravagance, arrogance, and unreasonable expectations should not become obstacles to a lawful and meaningful union.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ encouraged marrying someone whose religious commitment and character are pleasing. This does not mean that financial compatibility or personal preferences are irrelevant; it means that wealth and status should not overshadow the qualities that make someone a good life partner.

The objective should be to find a suitable spouse, not to secure the most impressive financial package.

A message to both families

To the bride's family: Protect your daughter's future, but do not confuse financial security with unlimited wealth. Look for responsibility, honesty, compatibility, and the ability to build a stable household.

To the groom's family: Do not expect a girl or her parents to accept unfair treatment, compromise on her dignity, or fulfil unreasonable demands in the name of marriage.

And to young men and women: Understand that marriage requires practical preparation, mutual respect, and realistic expectations. Neither wealth nor beauty alone guarantees a successful marriage.

The real question is not whether the groom can afford to provide everything a family desires. The question is whether both individuals can build a dignified, secure, and loving life together.

Let us stop turning marriage into a competition of salaries, properties, and social status. Let us stop rejecting good people merely because they have not yet achieved everything we expect.

Because when demands become excessive, the cost is not measured only in money.

It is measured in delayed marriages, lost opportunities, emotional distress, mounting financial pressure, and families waiting years for happiness that could have begun much earlier.

A marriage does not need to begin with wealth. It needs to begin with responsibility, respect, realistic expectations, and the willingness to build a future together.

May Allah make marriage easy for our young people, protect them from unreasonable expectations, and bless them with righteous and compatible spouses. Ameen. 🤍

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