All things marriage
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Marriage is half our Deen 🤲 From wedding planning to relationship and marriage advice, share all your marriage related experiences here with our friendly community ❤️
Marriage should be for the sake of Allah iA
The sisters are looking for a million dollar man and the brothers are looking for supermodel
Women looking for a life partner 🤔
It seems to be a common thread that women are looking for a life partner. Partnership does denote equal footing hence 50/50 and this is foreign to Islam, Judaism and Christianity.
One would think it is obvious that men and women are not equal so there is no such thing as equality in islam but rather equity and equal rights.
We have a complementary relationship based on mutual rights, responsibilities, and defined roles. In Islam women have 12 rights a man (husband) must adhere to and follow and a men have 9 rights a women (wife) must adhere to and follow.
e.g.
Here are 6 of the 12 rights the man must give his wife.
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To uphold the rights of his wife that are ordained by Allaah even if he does not get his rights.
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To provide protection ensuring their safety and security.
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To have kind treatment and compassion.
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To provide financial support and maintenance,dwelling, food and clothing in a fitting manner.
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To have ghayrah (protective jealousy) for his wife.
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Company, entertain wife playfully and intimacy.
The husband is designated as the head of the household, while the wife holds a foundational and respected role in managing the home and family.
(Qiwāmah): "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel over the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means" (Surah An-Nisa 4:34).
The Quran describes spouses as intimate companions and sources of mutual protection: "They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them" (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187).
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ consulted with his wives on important matters but the final decision was his and of course the Sunnah encourages men to be kind and helpful in the home as this was his practice.
Anas reported Allaah’s Messengerﷺ as saying, “When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of paradise she wishes.”*
A way of saying nothing will prevent her from entering paradise.
Abu Nu'aim transmitted it in al-Hilya.
وَعَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «الْمَرْأَةُ إِذَا صَلَّتْ خَمْسَهَا وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا وَأَحْصَنَتْ فَرْجَهَا وَأَطَاعَتْ بَعْلَهَا فَلْتَدْخُلْ مِنْ أَيِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ شَاءَتْ» . رَوَاهُ أَبُو نعيم فِي الْحِلْية
صَحِيحٌ (الألباني)
One of the 9 rights of the husband is that the woman must obey her husband. This means in kindness and in a decent manner and not if he orders his wife to commit haraam or sins but relating to his rights in Islam. I know it is a bitter pill to swallow for some women especially those affected by feminism but the womans obedience and submission to her husband is actually a form of worship to her Lord because he commanded it and promised the woman paradise and Allaah knows best.
Disclaimer the number of rights can vary depending on how they are combined or broken down so no specific number given in the Quran or Sunnah.
Funny I see. Here 🤣. Some women calls themselves feminists and don’t even know what it’s for. A non muslim feminist will be way better than a Muslim one. And that’s the facts and gonna ignite a lot of women here cuz Muslims women’s are no better than westerns. Cuz same as western women’s they also look for missing things in other men’s. And also stop playing victim cards. 💳. It’s an expired tactic. Pathetic. 😑. Now if u can prove me wrong then comment otherwise keep urself away.
"I joined this Muslim marriage platform hoping to find a man who truly fears Allah, who values honor, and seeks a blessed, sincere bond. Many here claim to be pious, faithful, and ready for marriage — yet after a few conversations, their words turn improper, disrespectful, and far from what Islam teaches. They ask for my personal contact as soon as they seem kind, only to go silent or vanish once they do not get what they want. Some even shamelessly send indecent photos and videos. I am not here to be used or treated lightly. I am a woman who deserves respect, dignity, and a partner who seeks me for a lifetime, not for temporary desire. True faith is shown in actions, not just words on a profile. I am still waiting for someone who understands that halal love begins with decency, patience, and honor."
How to protect your mental health while using dating apps part 2
When I first joined Jamaa, I read a long post from a man explaining why "good men" don't get attention from women. He argued that many women overlook genuinely good men and may miss out on someone who could become a wonderful husband. He supported his arguments with Qur'anic verses and hadiths, and I genuinely appreciated what he wrote.
Out of curiosity, I visited his profile. Physically, he wasn't exactly my type, but I don't think appearance is everything. His education, religious practice, age, and life goals seemed compatible with mine. I thought, "If he finds me compatible too, perhaps this could become something serious." So I liked his profile.
He matched with me and replied to my first message. He was half Pakistani and had lived in Egypt, just like I have, so I was excited because I thought we would have many things to talk about.
Unfortunately, the conversation never really flowed. He rarely asked me questions in return and seemed uninterested in getting to know me. The day after match , he didn't reply at all. Later, I noticed he was very active on Jamaa, spending his time replying to many women's posts with advice and words of wisdom.
If he had simply not matched with me, I would have assumed we weren't compatible and moved on. But matching with someone while making almost no effort to communicate felt confusing. It also made me question whether he was practising the same openness and willingness to engage that he was encouraging others to show.
As I spent more time on Jamaa, I started reading discussions about people's experiences. One thing I noticed was that many men complained that women have endless choices and only pursue "bad boys" or "playboys."
To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out which playboys I'm supposedly chasing. 😀
I receive plenty of likes, but around 80% are from men who are outside my preferred age range, have very different educational backgrounds, are incompatible in terms of religious practice, or simply aren't my type. Among the remaining 20% who seem compatible, every disappointment has been different. There wasn't one common reason why things didn't work out.
From talking to other women, I believe many of them are having similar experiences. Finding the right person simply isn't easy. It isn't easy on an app, and it isn't easy in real life either.
Some people marry the very first person they match with. I simply call that nasīb—what Allah has written for them. There is no reason to resent the opposite gender because someone else's journey looks easier than ours.
I think what often happens is that repeated rejection hurts people's confidence. Instead of processing that pain, some people start blaming or insulting the opposite gender because it temporarily protects their self-esteem. But confidence isn't rebuilt by putting others down.
As a psychologist, I'd like to share a simple cognitive behavioural therapy exercise that may help.
Take a sheet of paper and imagine your automatic thought is:
"If I haven't found a suitable match, it means I'm not good enough."
On the left side of the paper, become the lawyer arguing for that thought. Write down every piece of evidence that seems to support it.
On the right side, become the lawyer arguing against it. Write down every piece of evidence that contradicts it.
Finally, become the judge. Read both sides carefully before reaching a conclusion.
Most of the time, you'll realise that the evidence isn't nearly as one-sided as your emotions first made it seem.
If, after that exercise, you still feel dissatisfied with yourself, ask a different question:
"What specifically makes me feel I'm not enough?"
Is it that I don't read enough? That I don't have hobbies? That I don't take enough care of my appearance? That I struggle with communication?
Those are all things I can improve.
Compare these two thoughts:
❌ "I'm not good enough."
✅ "I'd like to become a more interesting, healthier, and more confident person."
The first thought leaves you powerless because there's nothing you can directly do with it. The second focuses on things within your control, allowing your mind to shift from helplessness to action.
Blaming other people doesn't solve anything. Complaining that people or ladies on the dating pool are not serious is a bit like walking into a busy city and complaining that there are too many people—you are part of that crowd too.
If we believe the system isn't ideal, perhaps the more productive question isn't, "Whose fault is this?"
It's, "What can I do to become a better participant in it?"
That is the only part we truly control.
O Allah, grant me a halal and fulfilling job that benefits me in this life and the next. Bless me with a righteous spouse who will help me grow in faith and character. Decree for me what is best, at the best time, and make me content with Your wisdom. Place barakah in my provision, my relationships, and my future. Indeed, You are the Best of Providers and the Best of Planners. Āmīn.
I prayed for you, before I even prayed for myself.
That's how much you meant to me
