All things marriage

This is a bit strange for me, not sure how to approach the situation so thought to get some perspectives from the singles’ hivemind on here.

I was volunteering at an event recently and a guy approached me looking for the organiser. He works for the local authorities and was in charge of granting permission for events. He struck up a conversation with me and it flowed really naturally. He looked decent as well and I was interested.

After a short conversation I directed him to the person he was looking for. A little while later when I was on a break he came and sat with me and we chatted a bit more. He shared that he lives quite close to my area and lives with his mother and younger sister. His father has passed away. He was talking about the kind of music he likes and I gave him a recommendation.

He was proactive in asking questions about myself and seemed genuinely interested. When my break was over he said that he’d like to stay in touch and asked when my event would finish. I told him and he said he would be back then.

He kept his word and found me after the event. I said I wanted to refill my bottle before leaving but the water fountain was in the opposite direction and asked him to wait for a bit. He said his office was in the direction we were both going and he offered to let me refill my bottle from there. One of his colleagues was there working late and he introduced me as his friend.

Since we lived close to each other he asked if I wanted to get the train together. But as luck would have it, I drove that day. I told him I was parked in the other direction but offered him a lift. He declined politely and sort of backtracked saying ‘I hope you don’t mind that I asked you if you wanted to head back together’. I reassured him I didn’t think much of it. At this point he shared that he had just finished listening to the song I recommended and he’d liked it.

Since he mentioned earlier that he’d like to get to know me better and stay in touch I thought he’d ask me for my details. But when it came time for us to part ways, he simply said ‘it was nice meeting you, take care’. I was left feeling very confused about everything. I didn’t really have time to process the situation before we parted ways, otherwise I would have maybe asked for his details myself.

So now I’m left wondering a few things:

-did I say something that suddenly made him lose interest?
-am I reading too much into it and maybe for him it was just a nice human interaction?
-would it be super weird if I went back and asked his colleague (a woman) for his details? I’m very hesitant to do this as I strongly believe in keeping personal and professional life separate. But there is no way for him to find me whereas I know where he works.

I am also hesitant because of his living situation. I doubt he’d want to leave his mother and live separately, especially since she’s a widow. But at the same time his other siblings have left home. I don’t know if it will be worth going through all that trouble to find him only to find out we don’t align in this way.

I will be praying istikhara of course but would also appreciate some human responses please!

I am all for maintaining a healthy body and do workout regularly and eat healthy. Healthy body equals healthy mind. And, I firmly believe maintaining attraction and effort in a marriage is important. But, I honestly avoid 'matches' who obsess over having a gym body.

This applies to both gender, but especially if it's a man demanding a woman has a gym bod, I avoid them, period (even though I tick that box easily).

As women, there will be certain points in our life when weight-gain is inevitable.

No matter how slim we are, we will look 5 months pregnant when it's 'that' time of the month (inevitable unless we are anorexic or have won some absurd genetic lottery!).

We may get ill and put on a bit of weight.

When we have children some weight gain is inevitable. After the baby is born, it's not easy to lose weight when your body is going through the biggest hormone crash of your life, you have 20 minutes sleep each night and you still have all the household chores to deal with while caring for a newborn. And, all that after going through the biggest challenge a human body can face when carrying a baby to term and going through what's describes as the pain closest to the pain of death giving birth to that child.

As women, we will face unbelievable challenges physically, mentally and hormonally which a man never has to deal with. Marrying a man who demands we go to the gym during these times, or someone who fat-shames their wives during these trying times, will destroy our peace.

A woman's body was never made to look like a bikini model who lives on diet of cigarettes and lettuce. Our bodies were created to bear children. Allah will never ask us whether we went to the gym 5 days a week - he will ask us if we were good mothers to our kids.

So, yes maintaining a healthy physique is essential, but this obsession over having a gym body is just silly.

Hi! I’m new here. Hoping to meet someone genuine, kind, and family-oriented. Looking forward to meaningful conversations and, if we’re a good match, building a happy future together. Wishing everyone the very best on their journey

03281551142
Boy age 20

Hi💗

Women should be independent economically like
Hadrat Khadija rz...

Loyalty is rare, if you find it, keep it.🤍

﷽ One day... insyaa Allaah 🥰

The new standards are challenging

I’m